Language Humour
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What do you think of humour that is particularly linguistic in nature? Here's one
example I found:
Abbott and Costello learn Hebrew ------------------------------- If you don't know the Hebrew words, the following will help. Hebrew English ---------------------------------------- Hu He Hee She Mee Who Ma What ---------------------------------------------------- ABBOTT: I see you're here for your Hebrew lesson. COSTELLO: I'm ready to learn. ABBOT: Now, the first thing you must understand is that Hebrew and English have many words which sound alike, but they do not mean the same thing. COSTELLO: Sure, I understand. ABBOT: Now, don't be too quick to say that. COSTELLO: How stupid do you think I am -- don't answer that. It's simple, some words in Hebrew sound like words in English, but they don't mean the same. ABBOT: Precisely COSTELLO: We have that word in English, too. What does it mean in Hebrew? ABBOT: No, no. Precisely is an English word. COSTELLO: I didn't come here to learn English, I came to learn Hebrew. So make with the Hebrew. ABBOT: Fine. Let's start with Mee. COSTELLO: You. ABBOT: No, Mee. COSTELLO: Fine, we'll start with you. ABBOT: No, we'll start with Mee. COSTELLO: Okay, have it your way. ABBOT: Now, Mee is who. COSTELLO: You is Abbott. ABBOT: No, no, no. Mee is who. COSTELLO: You is Abbott. ABBOT: You don't understand. COSTELLO: I don't understand? Did you just say me is who? ABBOT: Yes I did. Mee is who. COSTELLO: You is Abbott. ABBOT: No, You Misunderstand what I am saying. Tell me about Mee. COSTELLO: Well, you're a nice enough guy. ABBOT: No, no. Tell me about Mee! COSTELLO: Who? ABBOT: Precisely. COSTELLO: Precisely what? ABBOT: Precisely who. COSTELLO: It's precisely whom! ABBOT: No, Mee is who. COSTELLO: Don't start that again-go on to something else. ABBOT: All right. Hu is he. COSTELLO: Who is he? ABBOT: Yes. COSTELLO: I don't know. Who is he? ABBOT: Sure you do. You just said it. COSTELLO: I just said what? ABBOT: Hu is he. COSTELLO: Who is he? ABBOT: Precisely. COSTELLO: Again with the precisely! Precisely who? ABBOT: No, precisely he. COSTELLO: Precisely he? Who is he? ABBOT: Precisely! COSTELLO: And what about me? ABBOT: Who. COSTELLO: me, me, me! ABBOT: Who, who who! COSTELLO: What are you, an owl? Me! Who is me? ABBOT: No, Hu is he! COSTELLO: I don't know I maybe he is me! ABBOT: No, Hee is she! COSTELLO: Do his parents know about this? (STARES AT ABBOTT) ABBOT: About what? COSTELLO: About he! ABBOT: What about her? COSTELLO: That she is he! ABBOT: No, you've got it wrong-Hee is she! COSTELLO: Then who is he? ABBOT: Precisely! COSTELLO: Who? ABBOT: He! COSTELLO: Me? ABBOT: Who' COSTELLO: He? ABBOT: She! COSTELLO: Who is she? ABBOT: No, Hu is he. COSTELLO: I don't care who is he, I want to know who is she? ABBOT: No, that's not right. COSTELLO: How can it not be right? I said it. I was standing here when I said it, and I know me. ABBOT: Who. COSTELLO: Who? ABBOT: Precisely! COSTELLO: Me! Me is that he you are talking about! He is me! ABBOT: No, Hee is she! COSTELLO: Wait a Minute, wait a minute! I'm trying to learn a little Hebrew, and now I can't even speak English. Let me review. ABBOT: Go ahead. COSTELLO: Now first You want to know me is who. ABBOT: Correct. COSTELLO: And then you say who is he. ABBOT: Absolutely. COSTELLO: And then you tell me he is she. ABBOT & COSTELLO: Precisely! COSTELLO: Now look at this logically. If me is who. And who is he. And he is she. Don't it stand to reason that me is she? ABBOT: Who? COSTELLO: She! ABBOT: That is he! COSTELLO: Who is he? ABBOT & COSTELLO: Precisely! COSTELLO: I have just about had it. You have me confused I want to go home. You know what I want? Ma! ABBOT: What. COSTELLO: I said ma. ABBOT: What. COSTELLO: What are you, deaf? I want Ma! ABBOT: What! COSTELLO: Not what, who! ABBOT: He! COSTELLO: Not he! Ma is not he! ABBOT: Of course not! Who is he! COSTELLO: I don't know. I don't know. I don't care. I don't care who is he, he is she, me is who, ma is what. I just want to go home now and play with my dog. ABBOT: Fish. COSTELLO: Fish? ABBOT: Dag is fish. COSTELLO: That's all, I'm outta here |