What to do when forgetting a girl's name?

Chris   Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:32 pm GMT
I know that when I forget a guy's name, I can just call him "dude", but what do I do when I forget a girl's name? Dudette just doesn't sound appropriate.
Louise   Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:34 pm GMT
I call girls and guys "dude" but then I'm one of the only people in my area that actually uses the word "dude".
Chris   Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:46 pm GMT
>> I call girls and guys "dude" but then I'm one of the only people in my area that actually uses the word "dude". <<

So "dude" can be used with girls too? Whenever I use it they look strangely at me.
Louise   Sat Apr 15, 2006 7:02 pm GMT
Maybe it helps that I'm a girl too but ye it can. I got a few weird looks at first, possibly because it's not a common word in my area and it sounds a bit too american, but eventually people got used to it and now it doesn't bother them they just answer. I find it very useful at work because there is no way I could remember everyone's name.
Jim C, York   Sat Apr 15, 2006 7:34 pm GMT
Its perfectly allright to forget someone's name, simply say "Im terribly sorry but I've forgoten your name", they will have been in the same possition as your self at one point, we all do it. In the long run it's better manners to use someone's name rather than just saying "aye up lass" or what ever.
A good tip is to repeat their name straight after they introduce them selves eg. "nice to meet you Louise". It's suprising how well you remember someone's name after using it only once. If your like me and have a mind like a leaky bucket, try asking "so whats your full name then?", Which also works as a good conversation starter, as far as where names come from, named after who ever etc. etc.

There used to be a manual for this kind of thing.

I'll write a new one, "Jim C's world of manners"
Lensley Sirclaire   Sun Apr 16, 2006 1:35 am GMT
When did God's children began to call females 'dudes'?? I never be caught calling a girl that.

Strangly the most obvious one would be 'madam', though this term would be considered either too formal or old fashion for the younger generation.

Why not simply ask the girl for her name?
Jim C, York   Sun Apr 16, 2006 2:07 am GMT
Madam is a bit of a no no where I come from. Moody lasses are called "little madams". You can play out a converstation without using a name till someone who knows her better says her name, another way of escaping embarasment.
Uriel   Sun Apr 16, 2006 2:33 am GMT
I've heard "dude" used pretty indiscriminately with either sex. "Guy" is the same, unless context implies that you're specifically referring to males. "Hey you" works for everybody, but you'd better have a smile on your face when you use it. "Dear" and "hon" and (short for honey), while it falls into the same category of potentially condescending endearments as sweetie, sugar, babe, etc., are usually considered less offensive if used casually. "Chica" gets used around here, but that's probably restricted to places where there's a lot of familiarity with Spanish. But when in doubt, "girl" works, too -- "Hey, girl! How ya doin'?"
Louise   Sun Apr 16, 2006 1:45 pm GMT
>>Strangly the most obvious one would be 'madam', though this term would be considered either too formal or old fashion for the younger generation.<<

Ye. Ok. I'm 18 and the closest thing I would come to calling someone "madam" would be calling them "Ma'am" and even then I only use that for much older ladies and officers. I might get funny looks for calling people "dude" but if I called them "Madam" I would never live it down, it's just too... much.
Uriel   Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:39 pm GMT
"Madam?" Not unless I needed a hooker for the night! ;)
Guest   Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:19 am GMT
>> Strangly the most obvious one would be 'madam', though this term would be considered either too formal or old fashion for the younger generation. <<

Yeah, I think that this one would be too insulting and demeaning, because it sounds so negative.
lu   Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:47 am GMT
Why not call them "lady"
Lensley Sirclaire   Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:18 am GMT
<Yeah, I think that this one would be too insulting and demeaning, because it sounds so negative.>

Ok would you mind explaining to me why does 'madam' sound so negative?
Guest   Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:24 am GMT
"Why not call them "lady" "

Addressing someone as "lady" is rude.

"Ok would you mind explaining to me why does 'madam' sound so negative?"

"Madam" doesn't sound negative. Maybe they mean that the other person might take their politeness as sarcastic. Otherwise, I don't know.
Uriel   Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:24 am GMT
I don't know that it's negative, but (outside of the prostitution ring) it's just not used anymore. Ma'am would be the modern version, but it usually implies age -- a young woman would feel strange or even depressed to be called by such a matronly moniker.

Trust me. They don't like it.