help with a letter

Hello!!
Can you modify this urgent letter?

Thanks



To
The District Inspector of Schools
Puri.


Sub - Requesting transfer of my sister to proper Puri town permanently on medical grounds

Dear Sir,
With due respect I this is to draw your kind attention to the fact that my sister Sabita Mishra was working as an assistant teacher in Damoderpur U.G.U.P school at Damodar Pur. She was directed to work temporarily at Policeline primary school, Puri on health ground as per your office order No. 5697 D-5-11-98. But she has been relived from police line primary school on D-8-08-2005 and joined her permanent post Damodarpur U.G.U.P SCHOOL on D –09-08-2005 vide order No. 3076 D-25-07-2005
That she is an epileptic patient since long and remaining under regular life long medical treatment. She has also undergone major surgical treatment twice for her severe gynecological disorder. She has been advised to avoid taking regular bus journeys, as it is very likely to make her health conditions worse. Besides, her being an epileptic patient, it would be far more risky to allow her to stay entirely on her own away from home. Presently she is staying with my elder brother at Puri and is under constant care of which she stands in need.
Therefore, I request your good self to please consider her case most sympathetically and absorb her in the vacant post at Harachandi Sahi Primary School, or Waterworks Road Primary School or a new post in Duttatota U.G.U.P School permanently for which act of your kindness I shall remain ever grateful to you.

Yours sincerely

Most English letters don't have a Subject line -- that's for business memos.
I don't understand thae D-01-02-2004 date format. What's the D for?

Here is my attempt at copyediting your letter.

With due respect, I would like to draw your attention to the following matter. My sister, Sabita Mishra, was working as an assistant teacher in Damoderpur U.G.U.P school at Damodar Pur. She was directed to work temporarily at Policeline primary school, Puri, on health grounds as per your office order No. 5697 D-5-11-98. But she has been relieved from Policeline primary school on D-8-08-2005 and sent to Damodarpur U.G.U.P SCHOOL on D-09-08-2005 by order 3076 D-25-07-2005 This new assignment is extremely burdensome for her because of her medical conditions.

My sister has suffers from chronic epilepsy and is under long-term medical treatment. She has also undergone surgical treatment twice for a severe gynecological disorder. She has been advised to avoid taking regular bus journeys, as it is very likely to make her health conditions worse. It would be dangerous to allow her to stay alone, away from her relatives' care. She is currently staying with a brother at Puri, where she receives the constant care she requries.

Therefore, I request that you consider her case sympathetically and assign her to a vacant post at Harachandi Sahi Primary School, or Waterworks Road Primary School, or a new post in Duttatota U.G.U.P School. Her family would be able to continue caring for her if she were to work at one of these locations.

I would remain ever grateful to your act of generosity towards my sister.

Sincrely,

Thank you D

D stands for Date