tags as softeners

Pash   Wed Jan 10, 2007 6:20 am GMT
Are tags often used as softeners?

E.G.

Lend me some money, will you/can you?

Pass me the hammer, will you/can you?

If so, which other tags can soften an order, request or statement?
Guest   Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:12 am GMT
The word "or".

e.g. Are there any chocolates left, or ... ?
M56   Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:58 am GMT
<The word "or".

e.g. Are there any chocolates left, or ... ? >

How does that soften the question?
Guest   Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:16 am GMT
>>How does that soften the question? <<

To act timidly to ask.
User   Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:15 pm GMT
>> Pass me the hammer, will ya! <<

Is certainly not a softener. It's used to express impatience.

>> Pass me the hammer, can you? <<

Is ungrammatical in my dialect.


So...no... these particular tags do not soften the request at all.

Could you give me the hammer? is the softest way to order someone to give you a hammer, without sounding formal.