I have something to write!

new_boy   Wed Jul 06, 2005 3:31 am GMT
When this forum was locked, I moved to another forum that offered forum-based English learning. But, after this forum is unlocked I move to this forum again. I feared that the administrator would order us to sign up with username and password.

Ok, as usual, I have something to write as part of my English learning process. I will discuss about a football or soccer player. This time I will discuss about a player named Steven Gerrard. He is an important player for a club named Liverpool. He has told the club that he wants to move away. He has refused a new contract offered by the club.

That's all for now. I just want you to analyze my writing. Please, I await your comment and correction!
Deborah   Wed Jul 06, 2005 5:56 am GMT
new_boy, you discuss something; you don't discuss about something. So you will discuss a football or soccer player.
new_boy   Wed Jul 06, 2005 6:02 am GMT
Thanks for your correction. Silly me. I have used that kind of sentence:"discuss about something" thousand times already!

I don't realize that I have used a wrong sentence. I think it has been years.
new_boy   Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:57 am GMT
Now, I will continue the story of Steven Gerrard.

After making a shock statement that he wants to leave the club he loves since he was a boy, suddently he made an amazing u-turn by saying that he will definitely stay at Liverpool! The factor that made him change his mind is through persuation by Liverpool's chief executive.
Guest   Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:47 am GMT
*shocking statement

*he loved since he was a boy (obviously, if he wants to leave he doesn't love it anymore)

and also since its past tense... change "he wants to leave the club----to-----"he wanted to leave the club" because since you used "after" he already said it
Guest   Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:50 am GMT
wait, i think, "he's loved since he was a boy" sounds better.

and in the last sentence you should write "was through persuastion" instead of "is through persuastion" because that is also past tense... you use the verb "made" which is not the same as "make"
Ken   Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:55 am GMT
I think you should also move "suddenly" behind "he" as to make it, "he suddenly made an amazing u-turn..."
The Swede   Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:25 pm GMT
Well, if Gerrard is looking for a new club then he can come to Sweden and play in our league. He is welcome and you too new_boy, everyone is welcome to Sweden!
asder   Wed Jul 06, 2005 3:13 pm GMT
i do not read your forum by the end ,but i sow that you write about soccer play ,but i do not like this game very much.
new_boy   Thu Jul 07, 2005 10:32 am GMT
I write about football because I like this kind of sport a lot. And, at the same time, I need to have a way to express my mind in English. I think it is easier to write about football than writing about other kind of sports. But, actually, in terms of English learning, I'd love to write any kind of sport. But, the problem is that I don't know much about other sports.

I just want to repeat to write something after finding some interesting information on online news.
beverly   Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:10 am GMT
New-boy, use parallel construction:
...it is easier TO WRITE about football than TO WRITE about other kinds of sports.

I'd love to write ABOUT any kind of sport.
new_boy   Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:19 am GMT
Thanks beverly, I will go to some English learning sites to learn more about parallel construction.

Thanks.
new_boy   Mon Jul 11, 2005 3:52 am GMT
After reading some sites about parallel construction, I think I have more understanding about this thing. Not because I don't know anything, maybe just forgot that I have learned it before.
beverly   Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:26 pm GMT
That's understandable. So many technical things to remember. Notice the parallel construction below:

Not BECAUSE I don't know anything, but maybe BECAUSE I just forgot that I had learned it before.
life   Thu Jul 28, 2005 10:36 am GMT
do u know? why we born here. what did u sofar? what r u going to do?
what brought to this world? what will we take after death?
why i am asking these questions? Did i realize my birth?
I dont know. can any body guide me.

thank u