"How are you?"

What would be good answers for such a question?

"Fine"?
"OK"?
"BAD"?
....

These are some usual things I say in response to that.
I'm embarrassed to say those things over and over again. I don't know what other things to say other than those varieties.

Today someone who doesn't know me well but sees me once in a while asked that to me when we first saw each other. I didn't know what to say so I just ignored the person. Now that I think about it, I'm even more embarrassed. The person kept smiling and looking at me. :( I feel weird and ashamed for not having responded to that question.
I'm so socially awkward, too.

HELP!

Think most people just say "Im fine", "I 've been doing fine", "Im good"... even if that is not entirely true, it is a greeting.

You can be more honest sometimes if you care to explain "Actually, Im not feeling well today..." or whatever.

You probably only reply "Im Ok" if people ask you that specifically, like after you fell, you have been hit or something like that or, again, if you are not feeling that well...

I noticed "I'm good" is quite common among Americans than British.

My understanding is that most in Britain still say "I'm well" but this sounds really strange to Americans. Though there are a few who may say "I'm well" in general in America you would just say "I'm good" "I'm fine" etc. Unless you're good friends with the person asking the question, I'd say one of those or something equally positive... My German friend said Americans aren't honest because whenever someone asks how we're doing we always say good no matter what...

I have a grammar book in English which is written by American teachers. There is a dialogue in one of the units between an Iranian student and a teacher about a particular scenario. When an American says to another person, "why don't you stop by their home sometime." They don't mean it literally. For example, that Iranian student took it literally and visited his American friend's house.. When he opened the door, he showed an expression of annoyance to his Iranian friend.

So, why use such an expression when you dont mean it. If I were in place of that Iranian student, I would have visisted that American friend's house as well. So why show friendliness on the surface! It does not make sense! Does anyone care to explain here on the forum, why is it the case?

Whenever somebody asks and I'm not feeling particularly happy, I usually say things like "Holdin' up!" or "Hangin' in there!". So you can hint at the negative side of things as long as you put a positive spin on it.

If you're talking to a friend and you want to discuss your problems, then you can answer by doing so. ("How are you?" "Well, I'm still trying to get this papework done...") But if you're speaking to somebody you don't know very well or at all, they're probably not interested, so they just expect a simple positive reply.

<< When an American says to another person, "why don't you stop by their home sometime." They don't mean it literally. For example, that Iranian student took it literally and visited his American friend's house.. When he opened the door, he showed an expression of annoyance to his Iranian friend. >>

I'm not aware of this phenomenon... I don't say things like that, nor do people say things like that to me. If somebody said that to me, I'd probably take it literally as well, even though I'm a native! I still probably wouldn't show up, though. It wouldn't be rude to decline the invitation that way, and I'm usually too lazy to do things like that. Now, if you arranged a date and time and THEN didn't show up, that would be rude...

I've heard of this phenomenon in Japan, though. One poor guy had to meet a few female business acquaintances who suggested "Maybe we should have dinner sometime" -- but never showed up -- before he figured out they didn't really mean it.

- Kef

<<My German friend said Americans aren't honest because whenever someone asks how we're doing we always say good no matter what... >>

If they're going to say "I'm good" no matter what, then what's the point of asking that in the first place? Wasn't the purpose of asking that to know about how other people's doing? If they just say "I'm good" even if they're not, then I see no point of that dialogue.

<<I have a grammar book in English which is written by American teachers. There is a dialogue in one of the units between an Iranian student and a teacher about a particular scenario. When an American says to another person, "why don't you stop by their home sometime." They don't mean it literally. For example, that Iranian student took it literally and visited his American friend's house.. When he opened the door, he showed an expression of annoyance to his Iranian friend.

So, why use such an expression when you dont mean it. If I were in place of that Iranian student, I would have visisted that American friend's house as well. So why show friendliness on the surface! It does not make sense! Does anyone care to explain here on the forum, why is it the case? >>

It's just that many Americans are pretentious and dishonest.

In other words, polite, friendly, etc...? lol

<< If they're going to say "I'm good" no matter what, then what's the point of asking that in the first place? Wasn't the purpose of asking that to know about how other people's doing? If they just say "I'm good" even if they're not, then I see no point of that dialogue. >>

It's just a form of greeting. Surely your culture has customs that are just illogical and you just don't realize it. Every culture does.

- Kef

I believe that politeness and friendliness are not true politeness and friendliness if they're backed up by pretention and dishonesty.
True politeness and friendliness are those that spring from your heart, not your brain. I hate many Americans like that.

There's no pretention or dishonesty involved. It's just a custom. Dishonesty would mean deception, but the other party isn't being deceived because they KNOW that "I'm fine" doesn't necessarily mean "I'm fine". If they expected that "I'm fine" means "I'm fine", THEN it would be dishonest.

And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't just pin such things on Americans as if we're the only country with customs like this. To be honest (see? we can be open and honest ;)), it sounds to me that you're just finding excuses to dislike America or Americans. There are many legitimate reasons to dislike us, but I don't think that's one of them.

- Kef

>>Think most people just say "Im fine", "I 've been doing fine", "Im good"... even if that is not entirely true, it is a greeting.<<

One note is that saying that one is "fine" very commonly means that one really isn't fine at all but one does not want to talk about it. This is beyond simply the standardized response of "I'm good" and often is almost explicitly negative and dismissive, even though such depends on one's tone of voice.

I wouldn't go so far as to say it's usually negative... just not particularly positive. It strikes me as a neutral response.

It is often outwardly neutral, but never really positive, one could say; as a result, it can often be implicitly negative even though it may be superficially neutral, especially when such is implied by tone of voice.