is this really what we say?

i found a website that said a true canadian will understand this phrase:
"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlor, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Darn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "shit disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!"
i had to look some of these words (like a mickey of C.C, muskeg, and S.O.L), so i was wondering, is this really what we say?

I'm not a Canadian (yet) but I'm going to try to see if I understand that,

pogey = goverment unemployment/welfare
mickey of C.C. = no idea, but some sort of alcohol
beer parlor = some place that sells alcohol. as an aside, you gotta buy it at government run stores in some provinces, right?
skidoo = thing you drive on, like a snowmobile
muskeg = swampy ground
chinook = a warm wind that sweeps off the Rocky Mnts to the east, and in the winter changes temps and melts snow into slush. Ask someone from Alberta.
Mountie = RCMP, like U.S. state troopers. Only dress like Dudley DoRight for ceremonial occassions.
Toque = knit hat

Here are my guesses

"pogey" no idea
"a mickey" a bottle, not sure what size
"C.C." Canadian Club whisky
"beer parlor" pub
"skidoo" snow mobile
"muskeg" on idea
"duplex" two dwellings in one building?
"deke out" no idea
"chinook" on idea
"Mountie" member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police
"ghost car" no idea
"impaired" ticket for drink driving
"S.O.L." no idea
"Stanfields" some kind of clothing I'm guessing from context
"toque" warm hat made of wool or something similar
"chippy" no idea ... I'd have though "high spirited" but for the context
"shit disturber" one who causes trouble
"what not" and other stuff
"EH!" emphatic expression

I've lived in Vancouver for three years and half of these I've never heard.

... but then why listen to a bloke who can't even spell the word "no" properly?