why do so many ppl in western culture say "thank you&qu

without actually meaning it?

even if they are not sorry or thankful they say "thank you" or "sorry"

why do they do this like robots?


i think words like "thank you" and "sorry" should be said only if you truly feel it.

Hi,

Language use is generally very conventional - it has to be or we would not be able to understand each other. Pragmatics and linguistic politeness in particular are extremely conventionalised, so if I don't follow the cultural norm, I might easily offend someone.

Also, I think many people don't understand the whole meaning of a word like 'sorry'. Of course, 'sorry' can mean I really regret something I did, but it is also used (in British English at least) if I want to get someone's attention, to indicate that I'm about to say something especially when interupting, to get someone to move out of the way, to express sympathy and to smooth over a difficult situation. If you interact with people in a language and you decide not to follow these kind of customs you can come across as very rude or even cause a lot of trouble for yourself.

By the way, many languages (not just Western ones) use conventional apologies / thanks (I won't say most as I don't have the data, but I suspect it is true for most). I'm currently learning Japanese for example, which makes linguistic politeness in English or French seem like baby talk.

You're not wrong there Swonaid. I live and work in Japan (hence all the funny posting times) and it is pretty difficult to go through a day without everybody apologising or saying sorry.

Even in the convinience stores, the shopworkers all call out 'すみません' which means 'excuse me' when one enters the door. I don't feel any need to excuse them at all, they do a great job of pricing up my goods and taking my money from me.

Where do you come from? People everywhere use simple locutions like this to help themselves through the circumstances of everyday life. They are the lubricant which allows society to function. They imply a certain degree of concern and respect for the people to whom they are addressed. They make life with other people easier.

They have such tasty food in those convenience stores!

Because it's considered polite.

Would you rather we be rude?

IF I DON'T REALLY MEAN IT THEN I WOULD RATHER NOT SAY IT AND BE CONSIDERED RUDE BUT BE HONEST..

Just smile, be nice and move on.

@Guest who likes CAPS

You must be a very sad lonely individual.

Be honest in casual conversation with complete strangers one will never meet again? Reveal one's true emotions? How very un-Anglo-Saxon! Or un-Celtic for that matter! If you really want to learn our language you also have to learn to play the games we play...

<<Even in the convinience stores, the shopworkers all call out 'すみません' which means 'excuse me' when one enters the door. >>

I thought they called out mostly "いらっしゃいませ" ?
Guess "すみません" can also mean "thank-you" (for your visit and so on).


<<even if they are not sorry or thankful they say "thank you" or "sorry"

why do they do this like robots? >>

In what situations do you think people don't actually mean it?
Just because in some situations it may be more heartfelt than in others doesn't mean that it shouldn't be said at all.