Guest   Fri Aug 01, 2008 3:19 am GMT
Wintereis, there are few here who would be in a position to criticize this stuff (linguists do not necessarily make good writers). What kind of awards have you won?
Wintereis   Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:44 am GMT
Oh, I suppose writers don't always make the best linguists either--too free spirited and willing to bend the rules of language. But I think I have maid some fair contributions and have learned a good deal from this forum. I've not won any awards of consequence, just a couple from my University (The Woods prize two years running. That doesn't get you anywhere closer to knowing, does it?). I really didn't state that to impress; it was for ethos (to illustrate that I generally know what I am talking about when it comes to poetry) but mainly to ward off any would be plagiarists from trying to lift a line since the work is known and in print.
Guest   Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:34 am GMT
Good poems but I don't like the title of the second one. "Binary refraction" - it doesn't really make much sense.
Wintereis   Fri Aug 01, 2008 6:10 pm GMT
Thank you guest for your comments. The title "Binary Refraction" is a reference to the Deridian deconstruction of binaries and plays upon the fact that the divid between these two is a window--transparent and reflective. Thus the reason for so many binaries in the poem (e.g. chaos and order, fear and pleasure, anode and cathode, I and the other). In each case there is a meltdown, a breaking of the binary: "chaos moves to order", "How long have I been looking in at myself as another", “one overlays another”, etc. By this the poem hinges upon the binaries, particularly fear and pleasure given the contexts of a stocker, and by the end one is meant to understand that these things are both derived from self. Do you think this is too intellectual?
Bill in Los Angeles   Fri Aug 01, 2008 6:41 pm GMT
martin!, you should definitely go on to the next level of English studies. You've done a great job thus far. Keep up the good work!
martin!   Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:03 pm GMT
bill thanks! .. as i keep reading , my writing gets better and more intellectual .. im young yet much to learn
martin!   Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:31 pm GMT
if you dont mind me asking bill , what is your occupation ?
Wintereis   Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:07 pm GMT
Yes, I agree with Bill. I think you are ready to move to the A level. This will help you immensely; well, I hope that it will be hard enough to challenge you. It may be advantageous for you to pick up a journalism class too. This will help you refine your understanding of grammar. I would also suggest E.B. White's "The Elements of Style" and "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves". I know that my own understanding of grammatical structures didn't become refined until I became an Editor for my Universities Press, where I had to reference the Chicago manual of style every day. And as you can tell, my understanding of contemporary modes is far from perfect. When writing, it is necessary to read over your work several times. This should take care of many minor mistakes (e.g. word duplicates etc.). Just remember that, while reading for content and error, you need to take it slow and read every single word, letter-for-letter. That is the best way to edit your own work. If you read it quickly, you will have a tendency to read it as you have it in your mind rather than how you have it on the page.

P.S. Do not think that you need to be intellectual to be a writer or to like to write or that you should strive for intellectualism in your writing. Often this has a negative effect, take into consideration the fact that, the more highbrow your writing becomes, the fewer people it is going to reach. This is often my own problem. How many people do think are familiar with the writings of Derida? There are few who are and fewer still who can understand the writing. I went and will shortly return to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. One of the poetry professors there is Ted Kooser. He was twice Poet Lauriat of the United States and is a Pulitzer Prize winner. His work is very simple, very accessible to the English speaking population, and yet he has been given a great deal of respect for his work.

Here is a video of him reading to an audience at the University of California-Santa Barbara:

Martin!   Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:41 pm GMT
thanks winteris for your response, yea i will take on some extra classes to better my grammer and vocabalary. well you obviously know what your talking about so i take your veiws seriously. i dont know if i want to be a writer in future, but obviously would be a good to indulge in writing if im capiable of doing so. Im continueing with a variety of poems, also putting together an idea for a mini-novel.