phrases that you can't take too seriously

I can only come up with a handful however I assume there are many other phrases that if given a second thought sound ridiculous. My grandpa says that he is going to snatch me bald headed all the time and my mum says that we were meant to be somewhere when she finds a good parking space.
Can you help me think of more of these funny phrases??

If something is very annoying my grandmother says it is "enough to make a monkey bite its mother".

My dad used to say "Pull your head in." then there's "Strike me pink." and let's not forget Aunty Jack's "I'll rip your bloody arm off."