this is URGENT... ANSWERS

Hey,

I have been learning English for about 6 years at school.
I made 583 in TOEFL and 6.5 in IELTS and got a scholarship to the US.
This is where my real story begins.
Now, I’m in the US.
I’ve been here for 2 months.
And it's just killing me that neither my English nor my accent has improved yet.
In each conversation I make with people, it's one of two cases. I don't understand them completely or after every sentence I throw they would say "sorry, what’s that".
And when I say “each conversation” I mean it literally.
I’m so frustrated and embarrassed from me.
I have been in this forum for about 4 years.
It's the only place that will give me the right answer.
Is it ok to face a problem like this where you can't understand "them" and they can't understand “you” at all. – It’s been 2 months-!!
Is there any SOLUTION?

Story ends.

Sorry guys for bothering you with this…

Thank you.

Hang in there, Tiffany! Two months is a very short time!

You write like a native -- I didn't even know that you weren't one! -- so you have a strong basis for improving your skills. Spoken languages are ALWAYS harder to understand than the written counterparts; it just takes practice to tune your ears and modify your own accent.

It's natural to feel embarrassed -- in another language everyone feels like they just went from an intelligent adult to a two-year-old with a speech impediment, and nobody enjoys THAT sensation...

There must be someone you can get to hang out with you and talk to you so that you can practice, practice, practice -- a friend, a coworker, a study-group partner, something. Join a club or a small group -- shared interests will get people talking with you, and the setting will be smaller, informal, and less stressful for you than a classroom or a store. Give it a while longer -- you will be amazed at how quickly you improve.

Friends will be naturally reluctant to "correct" you -- they'll feel like it's impolite and might discourage you, or make you feel bad -- but if you insist that you need them to, and encourage them to do it, that will help you, too.

Where in the US are you?

I really wish we could have our own unique names... Anyway, to the other Tiffany, where are you from?

For only teo months, I'd say your English is quite good and Uriel is right.. practice, practice, practice. My husband came here speaking only basic English (he's Italian) and with a very strong accent. After one year of university, he was speaking very flunetly and was much more easily undrstood.

Again, to echo Uriel, I think the best way to learn is to talk about and read things you are interested in. I'm actually reading Harry Potter in Italian right now to improve my vocabulary. And as always, insist that they correct your pronunciation and grammar (I do!).

You are leaps and bounds ahead of many foreign language learners since you are living in a country that speaks your chosen language. Where there is a will, there is always a way and you seem to have a lot. Good luck!

Hi,

Thanx Uriel for your quick reply.
I guess -like what you said- that I have to find a "buddy" to talk with much more till he gets a headache because of me! :)
You said that it's natural to feel like that.
That really helped alot, Uriel.
Thanx god I'm not the only one!
And about the stress when speaking in public. Don't tell me about it. I just dropped a class of -Presentational Speaking- for the sake of not giving a 4-minute-presentation in front of 15 students!!
You mentioned something about giving it a time. What's the minimum time or say the average period till one "acquires" or “master” an accent?
Also, I have a question for you native-speakers. Do you find it irritating when speaking with someone who's not that good in English?
I mean a lot of time when people say something
and I say "sorry, what's that?"
then they would go "NEVERMIND". :(

Again, thanx Uriel.
I'm in Indiana.

Thank you;
Tiffany.

Hey Tiffany!

we have the same name!
I'm changing mine to Tiffany2.
Sorry for "taking" Tiffany from you !

Thanx for your reply!
Yes dear. I'm reading a lot. I've been waiting for a book from amzon.com, it should be here by tommorow.

I'm from Greece studying in Purdue University,IN.


thank you.
Tiffany2.

Tiffany -- this last Tiffany -- I spent half my childhood overseas (as an army brat), so I know exactly what it's like to be the foreigner who doesn't speak the language.

I don't personally mind when people don't speak English well. I currently live near the US-Mexico border, which is very much a transitional zone between the two countries, and I deal often with people who don't speak much English, while I don't remember much of my high-school Spanish. I apologize for my crappy Spanish and try anyway, and usually with a little effort on both of our parts, we get the job done. They are usually just as nervous and embarrassed of their English as I am of my Spanish, and you would be surprised how relieved and happy they are to just have someone be nice to them and at least try -- even when we reach an impasse.

However, I know that there are lots of small-minded people who are real jerks about it, or just don't want to be bothered making the effort. There are also people who mean well, but feel like they will be putting YOU through too much trouble if they make you repeat yourself, and sometimes it's hard to know the difference.

I'm guessing the other Tiffany is right -- about a year for easy communication. I used to work with a Mexican guy who came to the US to study engineering. After about a year or so of seeing him around, we ended up hanging out a bit, and I teased him about the fact that he used to always just stare at me strangely and suspiciously. He told me that was because in the beginning, he had no idea what I was saying -- he spoke no English at the time! But he was fully conversational by the time we quit working together (although he once confided that between my soft voice, my tendency to mumble, and my American accent, he only understood about half of anything I said). I also knew a Syrian guy with the same story -- he said a year of living with an American roommate did wonders for him!

You may never lose your accent, but don't worry; as long as the accent isn't thick enough to impede underestanding, most people will find it exotic and appealing! And sometimes it can be an ice-breaker when people ask where you're from. When I mentioned to my Mexican friend that he still had a soft Mexican accent, he got embarrassed and asked "Is it THAT bad?" And I said "No -- don't worry, it's cute." (And since I never see him without an American girlfriend, I guess others think so, too.)

Don't worry about dropping the public speaking class -- I once saw a classmate of mine utterly break down in the middle of a 20-minute class presentation -- and not only was she a native speaker, but the class was made up of people she'd known for a long time, since we were all in the same major. It's not like we were strangers who were going to judge her harshly! Stage fright can happen to ANYONE.

So keep your chin up, and don't lose hope, and if you need to, you can always talk to us.

Tiffany, I don't need to add anything to what Uriel and the other Tiffany said to you. The important thing is that you should not lose confidence and motivation of learning a language even though you are not completely understood by native speakers. I notice that it is good to speak slowly than as fast as a native speaker. When you speak slowly, you give ample time to your mind to come up appropriate sentences. One more another thing, you should not evade any speaking opportunity. When you give a presentation to 15 students in the class, even if you speak with less mistakes, you'll instill a lot of confidence in you because you are addressing the students in your chosen (English) language. You should not allow fear and trepidation to get to you. You must get over it.


Enough lecture from my side. Have fun in communicating with people!

I forgot to mention one thing. Tiffany, take some inspiration from my mother's example. In 1999, she went to California for attending a cousin's marriage. She stayed in Anahim(spelling?). She didn't know a single English expression except how are you? She never spoke a single English sentence in her life. My cousins persuaded her to memorize some day to day expressions. On the basis of memorizing some expressions, she could buy a burger from a nearby shop. She could take a ride on a bus. She could answer to questions of some strangers when there was no one at home. You are %100 times better than her when it comes to speaking and wrting the English language. So, what are you afraid of?

The more you feel over-cautious and afraid, the more you destroy your fluency. Be natural.

Tiffany2, try not to get discouraged. In time you will improve. Here's a link to some suggestions that I made when somebody else was having trouble speaking. http://www.antimoon.com/forum/posts/8652.htm

For listening I don't know what to recommend besides practice, and in the meantime if you can't understand people, just say something like "Sorry, I'm still learning English. Would you please speak slowly? It will help me understand." If they keep repeating the same thing slowly, and you still can't understand, maybe you could try saying, "Sorry, I'm still not understanding part of what you're saying. Can you explain using different words?" (These are just suggestions. You may already have some better responses prepared.)

If you can find some friends to talk with or persons who share some common interests, it should help you improve. Ideally find patient friends who take pleasure in explaining things. (Individuals vary greatly. Some like to explain, others don't.) You won't be as nervous with them, and they'll understand the problems that you're having and be willing to adjust their speaking to help you. In time they will need to do less and less adjusting.

By yourself you can try to prepare as many conversations as possible ahead of time. It's impossible for you to anticipate everything that somebody may say (if you could, life would be very boring :-) but much that we encounter is repetitive. "Do you want fries with that?" [Which might sound like "D’juh (or D’jew) want fries wid dat?"] Learn the ways in which people slur words and how those slurred words translate into formal English. Think about the various things that you will want to say in a particular situation, and the things that other persons may say in response, and make sure you know the way the words will be pronounced (or at least the usual ways), and the grammar that will be needed. This is boring, but it can help. Even famous wits such as Oscar Wilde prepared conversations and had things ready to say when certain topics came up.

I assume that you can understand radio and TV broadcasts better than actual conversations. You are probably too advanced for what I recommended in another post, but I'll mention anyway that there are special broadcasts by the VOA in English that's spoken more slowly. Here's a link to the post that I wrote about that. http://www.antimoon.com/forum/posts/8474-2.htm

I DONT REALLY CARE, hahahhahahahahahha, im so hyper, wooohooooo! ok hope u learn to speak good

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