active vs passive

Bridget   Mon May 14, 2007 8:36 am GMT
If needing coherence between sentences, which would be the better choice here?

"We must decide whether to increase our prices. The possibility that we will lose some of our customers should influence our decision."

"We must decide whether to increase our prices. Our decision should be influenced by the possibility that we will lose some of our customers."
furrykef   Mon May 14, 2007 10:20 am GMT
I would prefer the second choice because it puts "decision" closer to "decide", which I think strengthens the connection between the two sentences. But this is a pretty subjective thing.

If that effect is unimportant, another possibility is to reword:

"We must decide whether to increase our prices, and we should consider that we could lose some of our customers."

This is a little more concise. It does lose the "decide / decision" effect, but conciseness has a positive effect of its own, and I don't think any coherence is lost.

- Kef
Pos   Mon May 14, 2007 10:52 am GMT
<"We must decide whether to increase our prices, and we should consider that we could lose some of our customers." >

You might need "and in doing so" before "we should", there.