<I think this thread needs to be deleted. >
Could you please comment on this?
Just so you know, the wording of this letter and the format (especially the "Hello Sir/Madam" part) strongly suggests fraud. This reads way too much like a letter from a scammer (the inclusion of a Hotmail e-mail account does not help the case of whoever is posting this).
<Just so you know, the wording of this letter and the format (especially the "Hello Sir/Madam" part) strongly suggests fraud.>
Fraud? Isn't that a crime? Are you accusing the poster of a crime?
I'd say it's a genuine post. Spammers do not normally return to reply to replies.
"we learnt your contact information from the business platform."
1. You don't learn a contact; you know/recognise a contact.
2. Contact is an information. "Contact information" is a redundancy.
3. You've never mentioned about any business platform before. So you should use "a", not "the"; unless this business platform is very unique like "the internet".
"We are the manufacturer and the supplier of the printer consumables."
Again, wrong articles.
"We are a manufacturer and supplier of printer consumables."
You don't need any articles when you're talking about general "printer consumables".
e.g. Doctor should be professional. Doctor is kind.
Meaning as long as it's a "doctor", (s)he should be professional and (s)he is kind. (of course there are horrible doctors, this is just for an example)
"Our website is: www.chinaciss.cn (the English Language)."
better be "(in English)" or "(English version)"
"Our main product is the CISS."
I don't know about your products, but unless it's unique there shouldn't be "the".
"Our domestic market has never grown lean so we need expand our business to the world."
I know lean pork, lean gas, but never know of a lean market. And the sentence doesn't make any sense. If you're market is not getting thin (never grow lean); i.e. you have a fat market; then why do you need to expand your business? DO NOT use words you don't know or understand. It's ok to talk in simple English to English people.
"However, I am writing to you in the hope to establish the business relations."
There is no need to make a turning point by putting "However" in. Just get your point straight "I hope to do business with you." / "I hope to establish a business relation with you." "I am writing"??? Of course you are writing. This is an old way of writing a business letter.
"Please remember us"
I don't know. Sounds like a command. Odd.
"Thanks and Best regards!"
?? You are trying to do business with him/her. Is (s)he your friend? Your workmate? I suggest you buy a book about writing business letter. Should be "Yours sincerely".