South African English

,> there is a restaurant built in that style<

Owned by Dutch people great place!

Expensive?

nope quite reasonable and they have Dutch food even krokette!

Not as cheap as my mother! I'm in pornos to get paid to poop on her, she returns the favour and splat... an instant dutch oven!

....right

the troll was here too...

Die donnerse trol was hier ook... (rough translation, but more accurate;))

You know you live in South Africa when ...
The main headline of the evening TV news is the opinion of an unemployed squatter who 'spik inglish' no good and 'dimunds' that the head of Anglo American resigns or faces the consequences.
The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night, but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to make them themselves.
You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
The Student Union 'dimunds' that academic achievement shouldn't be a criterion for university acceptance, as it is discriminatory.
Landlords may not evict illegal squatters unless they offer them alternative accommodation.
Protest-marching strikers trash everything in their path and that's okay, but a peaceful gay rights march is condemned.
Post Office workers are videotaped opening the mail and stealing the contents, but the film may not be used in evidence because the workers were not informed that they were being filmed and filming is an intrusion on their privacy.
A government Minister is caught driving her car with a forged license, but the case is dropped for "lack of evidence".
A minister of religion who stole millions from overseas-donated funds for the oppressed, returns to the country to a hero's welcome and is officially welcomed by the government, represented by the Minister of Justice.
Government ministers meet with masked gang leaders to ask their advice on how to reduce crime and violence.
Scholars protest at the lack of schooling facilities by destroying school buildings.
Two tourist athletes are murdered in their beds and the President says it won't affect tourism.
The entire country sees a thug admit on TV news to murdering several people, but the police say they have no case.
Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
Your insurance is higher than the repayments on your car.
You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
People start joking about the crime rate.
The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
The police asks you for your attackers' details so they can go and arrest him/her.
You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.
Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans programme, and a Zulu advert.
Minister is fired and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the B-number-plated Bee-Em.
The currency takes a dive, and the previous government gets the blame.
Students from Vaal Driehoek Technikon 'dimund' that their debt is written off . . . At Pretoria Technikon.
A 45-year-old engineer is replaced by a 25-year-old who cannot write his own name.
The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
10% of the city's population pays for everyone else's electricity and water supply, and get prosecuted if they refuse to pay.
A murderer gets a 2-year sentence and a pirate TV viewer a 6-month sentence.
The Constitutional Court declares the death sentence unconstitutional, but rules that abortion is okay.
The prisoners strike.
Crime actually DOES pay.
People are allowed to reclaim land (for free) that's been bought from their forefathers.
The government GIVES people houses, and they complain by setting fire to them.
You can't even go on a business trip to OZ without somebody asking knowingly: Oh, having a look around, are you?
You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.
They bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards to alleviate congestion in post office queues.
You are expected to carry a driver's licence that doesn't fit into your wallet.
You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.
A shop clerk makes you feel as if he / she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.
The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.
The most popular vehicle is a 4X4 designed for driving in snow (the reason for this may be the vast amount of mid-summer snow that you see in all Christmas decorations).
You no longer request anything, you "DIMUND" it.
You know what "vowlence" is.
People tell you that they wouldn't live anywhere else because the weather is so bad over there.
A minibus taxi passes you, just to stop right in front of you.
Where the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, that's my country! At least we can laugh about it, but man it's actually SO sad! Everything said is true!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005, WHEN??..


1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work and still answer the phone in a
business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home and accidentally dial "9" to get an
outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

13. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list.

(Not exactly language related - But it does show how technology has developed, and with it the language... Need to make it about language in some way)

Just some witty comeback, didn't know where to post this but I had to.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

To Andre:

I know this is unrelated to the nature of the discussion. I am a cricketing fan myself and I'd really like to know the extent of popularity which cricket is currently holding sway over the people of S. Africa.

I once read that football is played by the blacks, rugby by the Afrikaaners and cricket by whites of English descent. I am not sure if it's true, bearing in mind the ancestry of the late Hansie Cronje. If so, did you play cricket? Were you more of an all-rounder or a batsman/bowler?

Thank you for entertaining this petty digression.

rugby by the Afrikaaners?

thats a English Sport too along with Netball, Cricket, etc. All those dirty boers did for a sport is Kafferball where they kick a kaffer around (just like soccer).....

Louise please ignore hehe. Cricket was in a sense popular with whites from only English descent but since re-admission to world cricket in 1994 it has became one of our major sports.
It is very popular, although the regional cricket teams could do with some more supporters at the stadiums. Our international games are usually close to sold out.
We had 20 overs cricket last year and again this year, which attracted lots of crowds.
I am a girl, but has loved cricket since I was little, and the sport is really popular with both sexes.
Hope it helped

I'm sorry, I see I spelled your name wrong - Louis ;)
So sorry...

Louis

Snipsa is right. But I would say cricket increasingly became popular with Afrikaners since about the fifties. In the Afrikaans school I attended in the late seventies/early eighties, cricket was one of the major sports. Rugby is more popular with Afrikaners, but also with the English. Coloured South Africans also favour rugby, and it's gaining support amongst blacks. Football (or soccer, as it's called here) is the major game amongst blacks, but is becoming more popular with whites too. Until recently, very few Afrikaners were interested in soccer, but many English South Africans have a favourite British soccer club.

I never played cricket, and have to admit I'm not a fan. Will watch major matches though, when SA plays countries like Australia, India, Pakistan, England or New Zealand.