Jokes that are funny in your langauages but not in others

some young guy   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 16:03 GMT
this is perhaps the most appropriate joke for the antimoon forum, although the the joke is unfortunately becoming increasingly less of a joke and more of a reality:

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, sprechen Sie Deutsch?" he says. The two Americans just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez-vous français?" The two continue to stare.

"Parlare italiano?" No response.

"¿Hablan ustedes español?" Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first American turns to the second and says, "You know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
some young guy   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 16:09 GMT
i'm writing this in order to place this topic ahead of the other idiotic one about wallonia, so you'll have a tendency to click on this one rather than the other one. peace.
Adam   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 18:09 GMT
Four linguists were sharing a compartment on a train on their way to an international conference on sound symbolism. One was English, one Spanish, one French and the fourth German. They got into a discussion on whose language was the most eloquent and euphonious.

The English linguist said: "Why, English is the most eloquent language. Take for instance the word "butterfly". Butterfly, butterfly... doesn't that word so beautifully express the way this delicate insect flies. It's like flutter-by, flutter-by."

"Oh, no!" said the Spanish linguist, "the word for "butterfly" in Spanish is "maripose". Now, this word expresses so beautifully the vibrant colours on the butterfly's wings. What could be a more apt name for such a brilliant creature? Spanish is the most eloquent language!"

"Papillon!" says the French linguist, "papillon! This word expresses the fragility of the butterfly's wings and body. This is the most fitting name for such a delicate and ethereal insect. French is the most eloquent language!"

At this the German linguist stands up, and demands: "Und vot is rongk mit "SCHMETTERLING"?"
Chloe   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 19:11 GMT
This is NOT meant to be offensive :)

¿Cómo se inventó el hilo de cobre?
Dos catalanes tirando de una peseta.

How was invented the wire of copper?
it was invented by two catalans fighting over a peseta (spanish unit of currency equivalent to a cent and made of copper)

Catalans are very famous by their stinginess in Spain.
Deborah   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 20:54 GMT
I already sent Damian's joke off to my friends, and now I'll have to send some young guy's. Maybe I'll just send a link to this thread instead.
Jordi   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 21:24 GMT
You must know some Castilian to understand this.

A Spaniard from Madrid or Salamanca sees a publicity ad from a private language school, which states: "Aprenda Vd. inglés perfectamente en 24 horas." (Learn English perfectly in 24 hrs.)

He goes to the school and asks in proper Castilian:

"¿Es aquí dónde se aprende inglés en 24 horas? (Is it here where one learns Spanish in 24 hrs?)

"If, if, between, between."

Meaning, of course, a translation of "sí, sí, entre, entre" since both "sí" and "entre" mean "yes" and "come in" but can also be translated as "if" and "between".

Castilian Spaniards are very famous all over Spain for their terrible English and for being strongly monolingual from birth.
Chloe   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 21:56 GMT
This is NOT meant to be offensive :)))


Un catalán en su lecho de muerte susurra:
- Rebeca, Rebeca... ¿Dónde estás, esposa querida?
- Aquí estoy, esposo mío... al lado tuyo.
- Y mi hijo Josep... ¿Dónde está?
- Aquí estoy, padre... al lado tuyo.
- Y mi hija Leyla... ¿Dónde está?
- Aquí estoy, padre... al lado tuyo.
- Y mi hijo Jaume... ¿Dónde está?
- Aquí estoy, padre... al lado tuyo.
- Y entonces... ¿Quién collons está atendiendo el negocio?

A catalan in his deathbed whispers:
Rebeca, rebeca, where are you, honey?
I am here, next to you
And my son Joseph, where is he?
i am here, father, next to you.
And my daughter Leyla, where is she?
I am here, father, next to you
And my son Jaume, where is he?
I am here, fahter, next to you.
And the father says: Then who the heck is serving?



Un catalán se encuentra con un amigo:
- Pero tío ¿Donde está tu anillo de matrimonio?
- Es que esta semana lo lleva mi esposa.

A catalan meets a friend:
But dude, where is your wedding ring?
Oh, well, It´s the turn of my wife this week


Llega el pequeño catalán jadeando y sudando donde el papá y le dice orgulloso:
-¡¡Papá, papá, felicíteme!!... ¡Me vine caminando detrás del bus, me ahorre 1 Euro del pasaje!
-¡Pero qué bruto!¡ Si te hubieras venido detrás de un taxi te ahorras 10!

Catalans are very famous by their stinginess in Spain.
Jordi   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 22:08 GMT
It's not that I care you having Catalans speaking to each other in Castilian (ha! ha! that's the biggest joke of all) but you could learn to translate a bit better to English:

The father, in his detah bed tells his son:

"Then who's taking care of our business?"

We don't serve. We have businesses. Explaining, of course, why Catalans are so Northern European in so many ways. Pain, is usually carried inside and you don't need a week's holiday to prove it and the father is worried about what he leaves behind.

I'm glad Catalans have the same reputation as Scots, Dutch or even Jews.

Catalans are also famous for having a great economy not only in Spain but in all Southern Europe.

And I will finish because Chloe hates Catalonia and the Catalans. She said so in another thread. We, the Catalans, certainly don't hate nations and we try not to hate people.
Walker, Texas Ranger   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 22:08 GMT
These are not meant to be offensive either.

'Mamma, hur kom jag till egentligen?', frågade 5-åriga Lisa sin mamma.
'Jo', sa hennes mamma, 'du förstår att när pappas spermier befruktar ett ägg i min mage så gror det till ett litet barn'.
'Ja men hur får du spermierna i magen då? Sväljer du dem?'
'Nej', sa hennes mamma, 'inte när jag ska ha barn. Men när jag vill ha en ny klänning så händer det.'

'Mother, how did I come to be?', 5 year old Lisa asked her mother.
'Well', her mother said, 'you see when father's sperms fertlize an egg in my stomach a little child starts to grow'.
'Yes but how do you get the sperms into your stomach then? Do you swallow them?'
'No', her mother said, 'not then I am going to have a child. But when I want to have a new dress I might'.

Alla barnen ville spela fotboll utom Ulla, hon ville bara...Leka?

All the children wanted to play soccer except for Ulla, she just wanted to...Play?

Om du vill lära dig tala danska är det enda du behöver göra att bli riktigt full.

If you want to learn how to speak Danish all you have to do is get really drunk.

Den norske livvakten i badhuset sa till sin arbetsgivare:
'Det är ovanligt många trevliga gäster här idag.'
'Hurså?'
'Minst sju stycken har vinkat till mig.'

The Norwegian life-guard at the baths said to his employer:
'There are unusually many nice guests here today'.
'Why?'
'At least seven of them have waved at me'.
Walker, Texas Ranger   Wednesday, May 18, 2005, 22:10 GMT
then - WHEN