American Accents

I don't think an apology is due to be honest. There are many words and terms which Lily will have to get accustomed to hearing when she comes over to this side of the Water. Taps is just one of them. Would she know now, before coming here, what the word meant? Turn the tap on.....out comes water. Hot or cold or tepid, depending on the mixer setting.

Six months in London and she'll have her relatives back in America wondering what the heck she's rabbitting on about during the transAtlantic phone calls with all her Briticisms. My advice to Lily is to keep her soft spoken US accent as she uses all her newly acquired terms and phrases. Just imagine it - using rhyming slang on the dog and bone to her folks back in Septic Tankland. It shouldn't take her long to get used to the bees and honey either...easy peasy....a hundred pence to the quid. Enough for her to buy a couple of rosie lees which should bring a twinkle to her mince pies.

Ways for Americans to get on in London:

Ask a guide why the castle was built so close to the railway.
Ask English people if they know the Queen.
Tell people how "quaint" you think everything is.
Complain about the portion sizes.
Tell people how much bigger and better things are in the States.
Buy a "Cream Tea" and put the cream in the tea.

Seriously tho', I'm sure you will be fine!!

I should warn you, don't under any circumstances ever smile. People in London will instantly be able to identify you as either foreign or insane.

In fact, there is many a time I have thought about making my fortune by moving to London and opening an academy, teaching locals how to smile!!

***Ask a guide why the castle was built so close to the railway***

Erm...that actually happened to a guide at Conwy Castle in North Wales. The main railway line runs right beneath the Castle Walls and an American tourist told the guide how stupid it was to build the Castle on that site. The guide's answer ran something on the lines of: Castle built in 1284. Railway line constructed in 1863. The guide was not too sure that the tourist understood the concept of history.

When King Edward I of England built that Castle during his Conquest of Wales and the Welsh, nothing but marshland surrounded that site on a hillock. Not a railway line in sight for another 600 odd years.

I take it that this story is true......a guide told us (my mate and I) when we went round Conwy Castle last year.

I'm sure Lily will appreciate that the Tower of London was not built under the sound of passing aircraft. :-) Enjoy anyway!

<<Erm...that actually happened to a guide at Conwy Castle in North Wales.>>

I heard that story in Conwy Castle too. It seems that they must still be telling the same story that they were telling 20 odd years ago when I was 4.

<<I should warn you, don't under any circumstances ever smile. People in London will instantly be able to identify you as either foreign or insane. >>

That's the damn truth, lily. And it's not just in London -- people all over northern Europe generally look like they just got their taxes audited. And if you smile at them, they don't smile back (perhaps they think you're about to go for their jugular). It takes a little getting used to.

<<I heard that story in Conwy Castle too. It seems that they must still be telling the same story that they were telling 20 odd years ago when I was 4.>>

Yeah, they tell that story in Chaco Canyon, too (Why did they build these ancient Indian ruins so close to the highway?). Seriously, one person says something stupid and it becomes enshrined in mythology....

***Tell people how "quaint" you think everything is***

That really bugs us a lot too....it makes "quaint" sound like it's an obscenity. Edinburgh people don't care too much to hear an American accent declare (loudly): "That's such a quaint castle you have up there". Edinburgh Castle quaint! My dict. says of "quaint": (1) "Attractively unusual in an old fashioned style"...well, pretty much right one there more or less - it is attractive and it is unusual perched up there on that massive rock dominating the city, an of course it's old fashioned....it's been there ever since Adam was a lad....so to speak (shades of another thread there!)..and yes, we do have it...it is ours for keeps!

(2) Odd, peculiar or inappropriate! How dare they!.....(BLEEP) TransAtlantics! What do they know about anything traditional and ancient anyway...apart from Presidents! (hee hee - only joking - honest....I think......)

Lily: Smiles are taxable in the whole of Northern Europe. Smiling at strangers is superfluous in the UK and Northern Europe generally.....culturally they can be misconstrued......the smiler may well have escaped from an institution or let out on day release and given the carer the run around..or may just be made out of plastic. (only joking again) Once you get to know us we turn into Cheshire cats.

***Ask a guide why the castle was built so close to the railway***

So will anything interesting happen if someone asks the guide why the railway was built so close to the castle??

Hmmm yes, smiling. We are slightly better at that up north, apparently York is the place where people are most likely to smile back at you. The best time to get a smile (anywhere in the country) is that small twilight period between 7:30 and 9 in the evening, people have just had enough pints to be friendly, and the fighting hour is a little while away.

I heard that railway/castle one from my cousin, very funny. I also heard a good one (which for a little while I believed to be true) about a Brit showing an American round a town, and them coming up to a crossing. When the little green man turned on, the American asked “What’s that beeping?”, the Brit replied “Oh that’s just for blind people”, the American proclaimed in shock “WHAT! You let blind people drive over here!”

Incidentally, my blind Uncle asked Tesco whether he could have some help shopping once, they refused an actual person to help find the things he needed, but apparently a mobility scooter was more than appropriate! Could you imagine the carnage?!!

***So will anything interesting happen if someone asks the guide why the railway was built so close to the castle??***

Och....maybe someone else may have remembered the time s/he was at the Mad Bavarian King Ludwig's fairytale (only it's factual) Castle, perched way, way up on the top of a forested mountain in Bavaria when the Guide there was asked in deadpan seriousness by a tourist (no prizes for guessing the nationality) if the style of the Castle was modelled on the identical one at Disneyland.

That story is definitely true...it was related with Germanic mirth by the said Guide to a British TV reporter during a BBC TV program from the said late Mad Bad Ludwig's Schloss.

One of my mates is a Guide at Edinburgh Castle now and he's used to being asked mega dumb questions. One woman tourist (again no prizes nationalitywise.....) looking out over the cityscape below and before her asked where the Eiffel Tower was. "Och no, madam....it's Tuesday today and this is Edinburgh, Scotland.....Paris, France was yesterday....."

Caledonian apologies to all American friends...but it happens, honest it does!

Now tell us about stupid Engl...sorry - Brits over there..... :-)

"Now tell us about stupid Engl...sorry - Brits over there..... :-) "

Cheeky sod. ;)

Actualy I have one of them, I was in Florida with my family, and my Step Uncles family. We went to one of these all you can eat places, "ponderosa" I think it was called. Anyway it became pudding time, so my cousin goes and gets him self a brownie type affair, and spots the custard next to it, he ladles a healthy dollop into his bowl and sits down. We suddenly see his face turn a shade of green, he'd only gone and put cheese sauce on his pudding! Seemingly it happens alot with British tourists in their resteraunt, I think they do it on purpose! otherwise they would move the cheese sauce away from the puddings!

I love how she apologizes for being American.

<<I know in America that British/Scottish/Irish accents are often considered quite sexy, but what about American accents in London? Are generic American accents sexy to you guys, or annoying? What else? What do people from Great Britain think of when they hear an American speaking?>>

Scottish and Irish accents are also British accents aren't they? I think you mean English/Scottish/Irish accents. Don't leave out Welsh accents too!

It depends some accents sounds right cool. I like Lawrence Fishburne accent, the man who appears as Morpheus in Matrix. But I detest the accent of that bloke who appears on this film, Shangai Knights, with Jacky Chan. Mel Gibson accent is cool some times and annoying in certain ocassions, I can't really tell when or...

>>Scottish and Irish accents are also British accents aren't they? I think you mean English/Scottish/Irish accents. Don't leave out Welsh accents too!<<

Of course, the fundamental matter here, all in all, is that there is really no such thing as a "British accent" to begin with. Yes, there are a good number of different accents (or dialects should we say) found throughout the British Isles, but then, to speak of them as "British accents" is just an arbitrary geographical grouping which says nothing meaningful about such in practice.

>>20 odd years ago when I was 4<<

You're not really that young, are you?