British humour

John   Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:24 pm GMT
mein Hund hat keine Nase

wie es riecht?

John   Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:28 pm GMT
wann ist eine Tür nicht eine Tür?
wenn es ein Glas ist
John   Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:33 pm GMT
Wievielen Bayern nimmt es, um ein lightbulb zu ändern?

Drei. Ein, zum der Birne zu halten und zwei, um bis den Raum zu trinken spinnt.
Guest   Fri Sep 22, 2006 6:10 am GMT
"wann ist eine Tür nicht eine Tür?
wenn es ein Glas ist"
... I think this one works only in English.

"Braddon: Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'Prejudice' - the show that gives you a chance to have a go at Wops, Krauts, Nigs, Eyeties, Gippos, Bubbles, Froggies, Chinks, Yidds, Jocks, Polacks, Paddies and Dagoes. (applause; he goes to desk at side of stage)
Braddon: Tonight's show comes live from the tiny village of Rabid in Buckinghamshire, and our first question tonight is from a Mrs Elizabeth Scrint who says she is going on a Mediterranean cruise next week and can't find anything wrong with the Syrians. Well, Mrs Scrint, apart from being totally unprincipled left-wing troublemakers, the Syrians are also born skivers, they're dirty, smelly and untrustworthy, and, of course, they're friends of the awful gippos. (applause) There you are, Mrs Scrint, I hope that answers some of your problems - have a nice trip. (more applause) Well now, the result of last week's competition when we asked you to find a derogatory term for the Belgians. Well, the response was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries. Mrs Hatred of Leicester Said 'let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them' ... (applause starts vigorously, but he holds his hands up for silence) ... and a Mr St John of Huntingdon said he couldn't think of anything more derogatory than Belgians. (cheers and applause; a girl in showgirl costume comes on and holds up placards through next bit) But in the end we settled on three choices: number three ... the Sprouts (placard 'The Sprouts'), sent in by Mrs Vicious of Hastings... very nice ; number two..... the Phlegms (placard) ... from Mrs Childmolester of Worthing; but the winner was undoubtedly from Mrs No-Supper-For-You from Norwood in Lancashire... Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards. (placard; roar of applause) Very good - thank you, Carol. (Carol exits) But as you know on this programme we're not just prejudiced against race or colour, we're also prejudiced against - yes, you've guessed, stinking homosexuals! (applause) So before the streets start emptying in Chelsea tonight, Let's go straight over to our popular prejudiced panel game and invite you once again to - Shoot The Poof! And could our first contestant sign in please."

This is from the "Prejudice"-script. It is offensive, but in order to display discrimination. Now my question to all "Wops, Krauts, Nigs, Eyeties, Gippos, Bubbles, Froggies, Chinks, Yidds, Jocks, Polacks, Paddies and Dagoes" and Brits: Is this funny?
Rick Johnson   Fri Sep 22, 2006 6:16 pm GMT
wann ist eine Tür nicht eine Tür?
wenn es ein Glas ist

I think the joke is:

Q: When is a door not a door?
A: When it is ajar

The joke plays on the word "ajar" which means slightly open, but also sounds the same as "a jar". Not quite as funny in German!
Bacalao   Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:44 pm GMT
I don't know well the English Humour but I already saw some extracts and I think that it is a racist and wedged humour.
I think that in your head in any event you do not have the broad
Uriel   Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:50 pm GMT
Well, I thought it was funny -- but what's a "Bubble"?
Robin   Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:51 pm GMT
<<<<"Braddon: Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'Prejudice' - the show that gives you a chance to have a go at Wops, Krauts, Nigs, Eyeties, Gippos, Bubbles, Froggies, Chinks, Yidds, Jocks, Polacks, Paddies and Dagoes. (applause; he goes to desk at side of stage) >>>>

I think these things are quite funny. You cannot suppress humour. Humour is about tension, and if there is a lot of tension over something, then a good comedian will get people to laugh out loud.

If you were being a bit more pious, you could say that it is an opportunity for people to confront and air their feelings. Unfortunately, in practice, when people laugh together, they often reinforce those feelings. It becomes part of what makes you a member of the group.


This is something that I was going to post earlier on the same subject.

Bernard Manning Jokes

A Brummie's Lamment by Lynesy Hanley

The Birmingham council estate I grew up on has just elected its first BNP councillor. The working-class defensiveness and isolation I fought so hard to escape are alive and well.

I grew up seeing "NF" scrawled on every lamppost and bus shelter. At school, it felt as though all parents except my own had taught their children that the vocabulary of racism was a way in which they could get back at the world for its unfairness. To the kids who stayed up late watching Bernard Manning videos with their dads, it was also very funny.
greg   Sat Sep 23, 2006 11:53 am GMT
« Last night police were called to a branch of Pizza Hut after a body of a member of staff was found covered in mushrooms, onions, ham and cheese. The police spokesman said that there was a strong possiblity that the man had topped himself. »

« A man was walking down the street and he met a small boy. The man asked what was his name.
The boy replied, 'six and seven-eighths.'
The man asked him why his parents had given him such a strange name, and he replied, 'they just picked it out of a hat.' »

« A policeman walked over to a parked car and asked the driver if the car was licensed. 'Of course it is,' replied the driver. 'Great, I'll have a pint then.' »

« Railway Porter (cheerfully) - Miss the train, sir?
Angry Passenger - No, I didn't like the look of it, so I chased it out of the station. »

« An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman went into a pub in the centre of Dundee and ordered a whisky each. (...) "Spit it oot ya wee bastard!" »
(Ça marche avec toutes les nations mais aussi avec les repas en lieu et place des boissons)

En conclusion : où est l'humour anglais ???

Tout au fond du loch Ness ?
Jack Doolan   Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:13 pm GMT
"Round The Horne" (Hello I'm Julian and this is my friend Sandy) with Rambling Sid Rumpo and J. Peasmold Gruntfuttock.

"The Goon Show" (eee-yackaboo) with Eccles & Bluebottle

"Beyond Our Ken"

"The Two Ronnies" (It's goodnight from me and its goodnight from him)

"Open All Hours" (fetch a cloth)

Flanders & Swann (The Greeks and Italians eat garlic in bed)

Dr. Evadne Hinge & Dame Hilda Brackett

"Little Britain" (the only gay in the village)

"Monty Pythons Flying Circus"

and, doubtless, many more.
Damian in London E16   Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:15 pm GMT
***"Little Britain" (the only gay in the village)***

"The only gay in the village"....that is now such a standard expression in Britain - it's sort of a part of day to day language now. Like on the Weakest Link recently when one of the male contestants was a gay guy who was a postman in some remote rural area. Each and every time Anne Robinson addressed him she said his name and then referred to him as: "...the only gay postman in the village". :-)

As for the girls, a real insult would be to call her a "Vicky Pollard"..the ultimate in cheap designer wearing nedette (or chavette in England).

Personally I didn't watch Little Britain much and then only to see Matt Lucas....
Damian in London E16   Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:28 pm GMT
och!...sorry Matt - you're mega funny but I was thinking of David're the funniest one Matt but Dave is better looking....
Adam   Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:26 pm GMT
Don't like it. One that one!
siemon and jamie from bel   Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:48 am GMT
hello everyone
we have to make a small project about British humour for our English course. We would like to ask if somebody can give us some information about the style and shape of British humour, some examples..
greetings from belgium
siemon & jamie
Joey   Fri Nov 03, 2006 11:10 am GMT
Anybody remember

The Fast Show