Site full with language-to-language quotes

http://mercury.ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html

American English is essentially English after having been wiped off with a dirty sponge.
--J.R.R. Tolkien

And to think many Americans are fans of the Lord of the Rings books.

English is essentially German spoken in the mouth rather than the throat.
--jmallett

This is true!! That's what I thought all along. The bit about English been spoken in the mouth that is.

"Today's British English is what today's American English would have become if Americans hadn't had any fun either.
--Glen Perkins"

That's a good one. The English do tend to be a bit on the boring side, but I can't blame them with their atrocious weather and what not.

I wasn't particularly interested in this rubbish before but now I can see the funny side of it. Just don't bring up any quotes that insinuates that Spanish is vulgar French which is what I expect an ignoramus to believe.

"The Queen's English is essentially Modern Anglo-Saxon as passed on by generation after generation of stiff necked Norman nobles with their noses in the air."
--ilvi

True that.

"English is essentially Low German plus even lower French minus any sense of culture.
--Danny Weir"

How about that for a low-blow

"Written English is essentially a variety of Old French invented by somebody who spoke only Saxon and read only Latin.
--Basilius"

Frightenly accurate!

I don't find the English to be on the boring side at all but it's all a matter of taste. According to my taste British humour is a couple of thousand times funnier than its American equivalent.

So Juan, you are not willing to have any fun with the Spanish language because it is close to you, but the English language you can have fun with? Come now; life is a two-way street--not, "Juan St."

I have seen this webpage before. I think Simon is the person who posted it originally.

When I read the bit about Tolkien, I was a bit "tiffed," but I got over it quickly. He was just a regular human being, the only reason he is held in such high regard is because of his books.

Anyways, it is all just a bit of fun. Nothing should be taken too heavily.

"So Juan, you are not willing to have any fun with the Spanish language because it is close to you, but the English language you can have fun with? Come now; life is a two-way street--not, "Juan St." "

Good point, the difference been(which "being", "been" is it? is it being? sorry I have difficulty with this verb! :) ) that I didn't actually believe this garbage (on English or any other language, although I've never come across this kind of quotes previously) while you (correct me if I'm wrong) on the other hand commented how you thought Spanish was vulgar French. I know you no longer think this way (I hope) but it was bit insulting at the time none-the-less. But it's all good now, I don't lose any sleep over it, there are more important things in life that one should be concerned about.

Yeah, I can't believe that Tolkien ever said that. It must be the Brits feeling insecure about the fact they no longer "rule the waves".

You don't need to agree 100% with the thought of an artist to appreciate his work. Fortunatly!

I clearly stated that I thought that way once, but have not for a long time (about the Spanish language).

The British (mainly the English) are proud of their language. They may deny it, but just spend some time with them, and you will notice that they really love their language. I have noticed this whenever I have been around any English person in my life.

Anyways, I try to focus on learning French because that language, is my true love (even if it does not love me back ;-)

"There even are places where English completely disappears —
In America, they haven’t spoken it for years!"
—Professor Henry Higgins
in My Fair Lady

"In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages without trying to invent slang, so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons and American for conversation." - Stephen Leacock

"The Americans are identical to the British in all respects except, of course, language."
- Oscar Wilde

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.
- Saki

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells." ~Author Unknown

Every American child should grow up knowing a second language, preferably English. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Yeah, sort of a common joke in California is, "do you know what the SECOND language of California is? English."

English is essentially a bizarre dialect of Chinese, pronounced entirely in the first tone.
--John Cowan


Australian English is essentially Cockney without the refinement.
--Öjevind Lång

English is what you get from Normans trying to pick up Saxon girls.
--Bryan Maloney

Scots is essentially English, only funnier.
--Thomas Leigh

King James English is essentially the language that many Americans think Jesus spoke. "If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!"
--Dan Seriff

English is essentially Dutch but it doesn't want to admit it.
--Danny Wier

Dutch is essentially German as spoken by the members of a conspiracy who pretend not to speak German.
--John Cowan

Portuguese is essentially Brazilian without vowels.
--Luís Henrique


Portuguese is essentially Spanish as spoken by a Russian.
--Peter Clark

These two quotes are interesting. The Brazilians often accuse the Portuguese of clipping their vowels. A word like "taxi" often sounds like "tax."

The second quote about Russian stems from the "hissed 's'" or "o 's' chiado" em português. This is present in continental Portuguese and in the speech of the Cariocas, or residents of Rio de Janeiro (in their case, it's a legacy of the presence of the Portuguese royal family in Rio during the time of D.João VI).