where/when clauses

Jacob   Friday, November 19, 2004, 10:50 GMT
Yes, "sorrow", of course. Stupid typo. I have never thought about publishing the stuff I do, but I would like to post learner's versions of some stories on the web, with annotations and vocabulary.

OK, now you'll see why I don't write too much poetry. Any suggestions would be welcome.

The Wolves' Song:

New-brewn the tempest
Beneath the sky all's grey
Twin sons of winter come
Endless snow and rain

Wasteland, where we live
Barren steppes and shelves
Nowhere even a patch of brush
Where we could drag ourselves

Beset outside by cold
By hunger from within
Our two tormentors these
Our cruel and constant kin

And there's a third,
The loaded gun --
On virgin snow
Our red blood runs

We freeze and starve
Our flanks by bullets carved
Our lot is misery
But still, by God, we're free!
Easterner   Friday, November 19, 2004, 11:46 GMT
Good job, I maybe liked the ending best. It would be good to carry on this discussion outside of this forum. I also have translations of classic Hungarian poems I would like to show to you, but this is a forum about language learning, basically. Are you perhaps active on Yahoo? You can find me under the Yahoo ID "reflectiveminded", in the members list.

By the way, here is my English translation of a short poem by the poet Sándor Weöres:

I too have come the world to conquer,
But to conquer myself I am too weak.
I can besiege myself with heavy stones,
Or speak vain words of self-deceit.

I too have for lordship aspired,
now I crave for a good servant's reward.
But, alas, there's but one servant, God,
and an universe swarming with lords.