"If I didn't get the money today, I'm screwed"
"If I didn't get the money today, I'm screwed up"
Which sounds better, and what's the difference, if any
The first one is more widely used. To be screwed means to be in serious trouble. To screw up means to make a big mistake.
"I'm screwed up" can also mean "I'm crazy." That's how I read
the second sentence in the original post. You can also use
the longer version "I'm screwed up in the head."
1A) "If I didn't get the money today, I'm screwed."
2A) "If I didn't get the money today, I'm screwed up."
Actually they're both wrong. They should be:
1B) "If I didn't get the money today, I'd be screwed."
2B) "If I didn't get the money today, I'd be screwed up."
1C) "If I don't get the money today, I'm screwed."
2C) "If I don't get the money today, I'm screwed up."
In (B), e.g., you get the money every Friday, it's Friday thus you're O.K.
In (C), e.g., you're expecting the money today, if it comes, you're O.K.
(A) is a mix of (B) and (C). It leaves you without any time frame.
(1) sounds better than (2) to me. I think the above explanations just about sum up the difference.
Jim is assuming that the speaker didn't -- or thinks he didn't --
get the money. If the speaker thought he did get the money, he
might well use the forms found in the first post.
If I have never been in love, then I don't know what love is.
If I had never been in love, I would never have known what love is.
You're right there. How could I have overlooked that? Yes, if he doesn't know whether he's got it or not, he'd use (A). Perhaps it's meant to have been deposited directly into his account but he hasn't checked yet. Thanks, D, for pointing out my mistake. Here's another example.
A couple are driving away for a holiday and the wife askes "Did you turn the gas off?" The husband replies "I think so." The wife then explodes "You think so! If you didn't turn the gas off the house might burn down." She then nags and carries on until the poor husband turns back to check.