An unusual narration style for a text adventure

Hello everybody!

I am still translating the game Star Heritage...

I am trying to preserve the original (Russian) way of narration, which is done:

1) From the first person perspective,
2) In the past tense,
So most of the time it looks pretty much like a diary.

...Such is most of the narration, but the descriptions of various items — those which you'd get in response to the "examine" command in traditional text adventures — are provided in the Present tense. Keeping the player envolved, this doesn't sound unnatureal in Russian, but...

Is it acceptable in English?

EXAMPLE (no, it's not from the game I just thought it out):

> GO NORTH
I easily went down the hill and found myself in(on?) a gloomy lowland. Only the strained buzz of moscitoes making their way through the thick, moist air disturbed the silence. They were the only creatures here, but that was more than compensated by their number.
> examine mosquito
Nothing unusual, except for the very long proboscis, probably useful for some animals covered with fur
> examine air
The air is extremly moist and smells of decaying plants.
>REST
I found a relatively dry place and lay down.

English text adventures are usually written in second-person.

Yep, but I am translating a Russian text adventure. Is this style just unusual or outright unnatural?

Anton

BTW: I think that most Russian text adventues are also made from the senond person perspective, and this one is of a very rare breed...

I don't see any problem with it. It kind of makes it seem like you're ordering someone around instead of pretending to be the character itself though.

Many thanks!

«I don't see any problem with it. It kind of makes it seem like you're ordering someone around instead of pretending to be the character itself though.»

That's about the issue of first/second person. What about that of past/present tense in action/item descriptions, whish is actually my main question?

Anton

Well, it makes perfect sense to me. The actions are described using the past tense because they occurred in the past and the "examine" descriptions are in the present tense because they are still true in the present.

Thank you very much!