Poem 2

Bad reputation
I was getting this feeling that my hole world had been chewed up and spat out.
Reasons being i worked hard on gaining a friends respect.
Plenty of good deeds, but just one wrong turn
invoked that the friendship was taking a different turn

It was unexplainable i thought we were like " two peas in a pod" unbreakable at times.
The real world can do whatever it pleases
sometimes its cruel in its doing, sometimes its for the best
this time of course it was doing me no favours.
Friendship is a strong word, once its lost can it ever be redeemed?

My bad reputation wasn't about to help me, it was digging my hole deeper and deeper.
The Phrase " i made my bed, so i should lie in it came to mind"
contemplating gathering reasons, facts and opinions why my friend would turn their cheek and forget the past
i know i wouldnt
still i will seek forgiveness no matter what it takes.

what you think of this poem ?

is it better than the first poem i posted, or does it lack its right of being called a poem?

Two poems on losing someone close.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy5e65OQcIw&feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9E07EznXw&feature=related


<<is it better than the first poem i posted, or does it lack its right of being called a poem?>>

There are many long lined poems. Whitman was the first to really undertake this. There are also, what are called, pose poems where in the form is like any piece of prose, but it is verse. The thing to remember is concision, get rid of what is unnecisary, what ever doesn't add to the poem directly.

The first poem is better, it represents a moment. Adrienne Rich once said, "The moment of change is the only poem". It is difficult to capture such a moment, but it is what we write.

Here is one of her most famous moments of change:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co0CGv9K5SI&feature=related