Is this a grammatically well formed sentence?

Uvillo   Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:22 am GMT
The following sentnece is one I encountered in a book on translation. I'm not sure whether it's a grammatically well formed sentence. It seems to me that there is something wrong with the non-resrictive clause introduced by "which" due to the absence of a verb.

Interlingual factors were found to be less prevalent than other factors, among which intralingual mechanisms such as the overgeneralization of target rulesand external factors such as the influence of teaching methods or personal factors like motivation.


I think "among which intralingual mechanisms such as the overgeneralization of target rulesand external factors such as the influence of teaching methods or personal factors like motivation" should be "among which were intralingual mechanisms such as the overgeneralization of target rulesand external factors such as the influence of teaching methods or personal factors like motivation" or "among which there were intralingual mechanisms such as the overgeneralization of target rulesand external factors such as the influence of teaching methods or personal factors like motivation". What about yr opinion?
Mary   Tue Oct 31, 2006 6:40 am GMT
I agree with you Uvillo, although I'm not an expert on grammar. I might have written "such as intralingual...", "including intralingual...", or even "among them intralingual..." But the fact of the matter is that I would never have written anything remotely resembling this sentence, because it is poorly formed and unnecessarily difficult to comprehend. Here is my rewrite:

Intralingual factors (such as the overgeneralization of target rules), external factors (e.g. the influence of teaching methods), and personal factors like motivation were found to be more prevalent* than interlingual factors.

And I would replace prevalent with a word that actually meant something, if I knew what "prevalent" was supposed to mean in this context.

Why is it always the books on translation and grammar that have such verbose and convoluted text?
Cow   Tue Oct 31, 2006 3:10 pm GMT
>> Interlingual factors were found to be less prevalent than other factors, among which intralingual mechanisms such as the overgeneralization of target rulesand external factors such as the influence of teaching methods or personal factors like motivation. <<

That is the stupidest sentence I have ever read. Change it to something like the following to make it a little more readable. If the whole book goes like that, I wouldn't bother reading it.

Interlingua factors were found to be less prevalent than interlingua mechanisms or external factors. One important interlingua mechanism is the overgeneralization of target rules. An example of an external factor is the influence of a particular teaching method or a personal factor such as motivation.

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!
Mary   Tue Oct 31, 2006 4:35 pm GMT
Interlingua factors were found to be less prevalent than interlingua mechanisms or external factors. One important interlingua mechanism is the overgeneralization of target rules. An example of an external factor is the influence of a particular teaching method or a personal factor such as motivation.
Cow: don't forget the distinction between inter- and intralingual. Also, I think that a personal factor is another kind of factor, not a kind of external factor.
Uvillo   Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:19 am GMT
Thanks so much, Mary and Cow!:)