I need help! I ve tried to prove myself to every one that...

Ben   Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:08 am GMT
that I can master English without going to English speaking countries. I m loosing my motivation and will power to perfect my English, it seems to me that no matter how hard I try I cant speak like a native speaker.

I can only talk newspaper English or English expressions that are often spoken in a movie or a TV show but are not realistic in everyday life. I can understand 90 % of the movie I m watching. The English I m speaking at my office is entirely copied from the movies and most of them are a bit exaggerated or do not literally correspond to the situation since I m working in an office not in the crime scene (CSI) or in an apartment (Friends, two guys and a girl in a pizza place, you name it) where dialogues take place.

Almost every one at my office speak perfect English (well, those that do were born and raised in the US, the rest of us are just a bunch of trying to keep up-with-the american born people). I work for an English speaking radio in Thaiand, so to be able to use English impeccably is really important to me.

I always feel left out during the conversation, I m not sure because they were talking too fast or they were using words or pharses that i ve never heard before.

My main problem is, I cant say or maybe because I dont know how to say in English in some situations. I cant do small talks, I cant talk about being in a relationship with out being sarcastic as a character in 'Dawson's creek'. I dont know how to improvise. I m fluent enough but if any one ever ask me how to open a bank account, I wouldnt know how to explain it.

I mean how can some one possibly know as many English expressions as a native speaker with out being surrounded by people speaking the language to you all the time?

I ve seen many people writing good English but very few of them can speak as well as they can write. Or some speak the written language not the spoken.
Guest   Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:43 am GMT
Dude. We are in the same spot. We write good English. We can understand movies and sitcoms most of the time yet we search for words when we are talking with a native speaker in person or on the phone. I have watched a lot of American movies like around 175 and several sitcoms, yet my accent sucks, and Americans ask me to repeat myself over and over again. When they talk, every thing falls into pieces, naturally and spontaneously. Our problem is that we are not surrounded by real people and we dont hear and speak that much (like we do in our native language). It is time for us to make big bugs and move to an English speaking country for settling down there (for a couple of years) then I think we can improve our spoken English to a considerable extent. It is virtually impossible to speak like a true native speaker by living in our own country. Tom, who is the author of this website, must have been an exceptional learner of the language who mastered the language without spending years in a native speaking country. I have no advice for you, just hang in there and note down your weak points and sort them out.
Guest   Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:50 am GMT
* bugs ----> bucks
Ben   Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:17 pm GMT
Hey Guest!

I think eventually we need to move to an English speaking country. There's a lot of english speaking communities here in Bangkok, but then who would want to waste their time correcting your English right? I remember reading one of Tom's articles which said that if you did nt learn or live in an english speaking environment from an early age, it would be difficult to learn to speak as fluent as a native.

And to go abroad when you are adult, your learning capacity is less compared to kids, and again you would have to make a living there which does not provide you much time to learn the language, and your speaking pattern would not change so much from before since nobody would wait for you to answer their questions in a perfect english sentence nor would they be willing to correct you when you say it wrong.

Unless, you are very rich.
Guest   Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:50 pm GMT
Ben, I know where you are coming from. Kids are God-gifted learners. Good for them. Complete perfection is not what we are aiming for as adults, it would be great if we couple be fluent with an understandable accent. As long as we keep working at it , we are inching towards our main goal, that is to have a decent conversation without facing any problems.


Nowadays, I am talking to a native American speaker on the phone. He says that I am very articulate despite that I havent spent a single day in an English speaking country. I can understand him 90-95% on the phone.
It is nothing short of an extraordinary feat. He told me that my only weakness is that I dont "open up" that means that I dont treat him as my friend, so I have an accent and there are breakdowns in my fluency, once I realize this fact and open up, then my accent, structure and fluency, eveything falls in place. To make it more simple, I lack confidence in the language. I am an extra cynical about my language skills and treat them as less perfect and good but the antithesis is that I can do much more than with my languages skills than I really think. It is time to purge our negative attitude as well.

Perhaps you have the same situation like you dont open up, feel scared about making mistakes, dont consider foreigners as your close friends, it is sometimes good to be natural and should not care about mistakes and deficiencies of a proper accent. We should try to focus on putting our points across that should be our first priority.

Come on, your writing is flawless. It is no mean feat, eh? Just open up, dont be shy, speak whenever you can, you'll gain fluency in good time.
Guest   Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:59 pm GMT
Also, you can go through conversational lessons on such topics(opening a bank account, booking a flight seat,...etc) so that you can grasp all the neccessary vocabulary and grammar structure you need to know for asking certain questions. It is all about practice. Once you are gone through a particular situation next time you would perform better. How do you open your bank account in your native language? You have certain questions in your mind, you ask them, and viola! You can do the same in English. Human thoughts are the same, but the language structure is different, that's all.
Ben   Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:11 am GMT
do you a hotmail email account? Maybe we could chat online
Guest   Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:27 am GMT
Aha, there is no need for you to speak like a native speaker! Moreover, phoneticians have figures showing that only a small percent of non-native English speakers (less than 5%)can manage to speak LIKE a native speaker! I was wondering what made you so obsessed with a nativeness of accent?
Guest   Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:29 am GMT
I hope you are not crying for the mooon!!!
leena   Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:48 am GMT
this is tragical loooool
Ben   Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:21 pm GMT
Hello again Guest!

Actually, I didnt think I was really concerned about my accent though. Mine is fine.

Whatever the accent is, I really dont care at all, as long as it is understandable. I think i was trying to say that I didnt know enough English expressions not because there was anything wrong with my accent. (Where did I mention I was even remotely close to being obssessed with a nativeness of accent?)

And when I asked for your email account, I was thinking maybe I make a friend from here. Not because i was so obsessed with the language that it is the only thing you and me can talk about.

There's no need to judge here. And Leena, please, dont waste the web space with a comment like yours. Really, i dont see how it is helping people who have problems with the English language here. I can tell you how you can increase your level of self esteem here. Get a life Leena!. LOL
First Guest   Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:35 am GMT
Ben, with all due respect, I was not the last guest who had said that "you were crying for the moon", the thing is, if you dont write your name into the box, your name will appear as a guest. You misunderstood me there.
I did not pass such comments. Give me your email address, I will keep in touch with you. Ben, you should not treat her harshly. She was just trying to be funny there. You need to chill a bit as well.

Talk soon.
The Guest   Tue Apr 17, 2007 1:51 am GMT
that I can master English without going to English speaking countries. I m loosing my motivation and will power to perfect my English, it seems to me that no matter how hard I try I cant speak like a native speaker.

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I ve seen many people writing good English but very few of them can speak as well as they can write. Or some speak the written language not the spoken.

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Do not tell me that is not your words! You were so disgusting for denying what you had said in so short a period of time!
Leena   Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:15 am GMT
first guest you are native english speaker i want your email too

sorry for everything
Leena   Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:18 am GMT
i want to speak with native english speakers living here in saudi arabia dont worry abt the phone bill looool i'm serious