Polite sentences with "fuck"

<<I would like to know some polite sentences with the verb fuck, as "shot your fucking mouth" or "Pardon Sir, would you please stop fucking me in the arse?" when someone is disturbing you. Of course I'm a begginer. Thanks. >>

"May I please fuck you?"
"Would you please fuck me?"

are the only two possible polite sentences with that word.

In all other cases you must soften the harsh effect of the word by adding before it the word "mother". (Or pronounce it "fuke", of course, but that went out of style nearly forty years ago.)

Oh, mother fucker. Yes, yes, yes...

Little Ant,

There is no polite way to use the word fuck... pure and simple>>

Not true. With your peers, "oh, f--- me" is a way of apologizing for a mistake. When somone says that, I know they are really humiliated and not just saying the generic "sorry" which is just used as a cover up half the time.

Oh, very interesting. Now I remember another polite sentence that I say when I go to the refreshment stall near the beach. It is very polite: "Could you please stop staring at my fucking belly?". The people get impressed.