Polite sentences with "fuck"

Little Ant   Monday, July 12, 2004, 17:12 GMT
I would like to know some polite sentences with the verb fuck, as "shot your fucking mouth" or "Pardon Sir, would you please stop fucking me in the arse?" when someone is disturbing you. Of course I'm a begginer. Thanks.
mjd   Monday, July 12, 2004, 18:12 GMT
Those sentences you just mentioned are far from polite. By the way, it's "shut" not "shot."
Ed   Monday, July 12, 2004, 18:37 GMT
that post seriously made me laugh!
Jordi   Monday, July 12, 2004, 19:28 GMT
For a beginner you've gone a bit far. You can't, really, get much lower than that. Well, let's all have a big laugh..
Damian   Monday, July 12, 2004, 19:44 GMT
Little Ant:

You made me laugh too! What sort of company have you been keeping? Change your friends quickly! LOL At least the "Pardon Sir" bit was quite nice even if a little quaint.

That particular word is widely used as a swear word but if you are a BEGINNER in English I would advise you not to use it, nor use those expressions. They could easily embarrass and offend some people to say the least.
Little Ant   Tuesday, July 13, 2004, 08:42 GMT
Thanks a lot for all your answers. But anyway I would like to have enough style to be a perfect gentleman... So this is the reason because I'd like to learn more polite sentences with to fuck as a predicate.

Steve   Tuesday, July 13, 2004, 10:20 GMT
Little Ant,

There is no polite way to use the word fuck... pure and simple.
Mi5 Mick   Tuesday, July 13, 2004, 12:51 GMT
He/She/it/ant is having a tug of you all !
Nic   Tuesday, July 13, 2004, 12:58 GMT
If you ant to know someone's identity, you just ask : "Who the fuck are you?!"
Steve   Tuesday, July 13, 2004, 13:46 GMT
Hehe yeah I had a feeling that this topic was BS from the start... =)
Paul   Tuesday, July 13, 2004, 17:51 GMT
He is just fucking with your mind.
Reasonably polite, I suppose.
Xatufan   Tuesday, July 13, 2004, 23:56 GMT
Polite Sentence:

"I'd like to fuck with Madam."

Hey, it included the word "Madam"...
Little Ant   Wednesday, July 14, 2004, 01:13 GMT
It is a very nice expression, but don't you think it is better to say 'I'd like to fuck with "the" Madam?'. The article gives a little elegant connotation, because there are more than one I think.

Another sentence that seems to me very "high class" is to say in a party: "Lord Helsinor, this fucking party is too much!". But I guess than more than one could not understand its meaning, with plenty of nuances.

Lord Helsinor   Wednesday, July 14, 2004, 01:16 GMT
"I beg your pardon, kind sir, but who gives a fuck?"
Jeff   Wednesday, July 14, 2004, 02:29 GMT
Excuse me ?, what the fuck are you doing, ?

Please, get the fuck outta my way,