me and my father or my father and I ?

A   Mon Jul 11, 2005 9:51 am GMT
which one is grammatically used and is correct?
I thank all in advance.
Gabe   Mon Jul 11, 2005 9:55 am GMT
Both are used, "My father and I" is considered "correct."
D   Mon Jul 11, 2005 12:54 pm GMT
If you don't give a whole sentence, then nobody can tell you which is right.
Each one is correct in certain places.

''The money is for me and my father to share'' -- gramatically correct
''My father and I share the money'' -- also correct

Many people object to using 'me' as a subject. So ``My father and me like to eat donuts'' sound uneducated. But many people use that sort of phrase anyway.

The best way to resolve your questions is to listen to native speakers and note the constructions they use. Try watching television shows that portray ``average'' people, and take note of the choices they make in their speech.
Mxsmanic   Mon Jul 11, 2005 5:04 pm GMT
Use "I" if the persons in question are the subjects of the verb; use "me" if they are the objects.
Uriel   Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:52 pm GMT
Either can be correct, depending on the sentence. The best way to choose (even for native speakers) is to drop the "my father and" and see whether you would use "I" or "me" in the context of that particular sentence -- which is basically what Mxsmanic is saying above.
Guest   Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:48 pm GMT
"Both are used, 'My father and I' is considered 'correct.'"

Gabe, you're spot on. And your use of quotes for "correct" effectively underlined your point.

Constructions like "me and my father" have been used in English for centuries, notwithstanding the pronouncements of grammar pedants about what is, or is not, "correct."
Robert   Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:15 pm GMT
Everyone here has commented on whether objective pronouns may be used in the subjective clause. But "me and my father" would be considered incorrect for another reason: the sequence of persons. In a coordinate construction, third person takes precedence over second person and second over first. Thus, a copyeditor would change "I, you, and Frank are in agreement" to read "Frank, you, and I are all in agreement".
Kirk   Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:38 pm GMT
It all depends on what the person is going for. English has *long* used constructions like "me and my friend are eating now" (much to the chagrin of prescriptivists starting from the 1700s-1800s who decided it shouldn't be that way since Latin isn't) in normal language, but in written language "my friend and I are eating now" is preferred.
JJM   Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:44 am GMT
In addition to the comments by "Guest" (that was me!), I'd point out that "me" in "me and my father went to town" is not in the "objective case" as its use is quiet clearly subjective here.
Great Scott   Wed Jul 20, 2005 12:35 pm GMT
>Many people object to using 'me' as a subject. So ``My father and me like to eat donuts'' sound uneducated. But many people use that sort of phrase anyway.>

What about just "Me like to eat donuts"? ;)
Damian from Scotland   Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:03 pm GMT
The misuse of the objective "me" as a subjective as described by GREAT SCOTT (k handle btw) is quite common. Here in the UK anyway many people say things like "me and him went into town clubbing last night". Without doing the pedantic grammatical lecture stuff, I would say something similar to Great Scott just to show how silly it sounds when used for the first person case only: "Me thinks I like donuts* too".

*Don't you mean doughnuts? :-) Actually the yummiest jam doughnuts in Tescos are brand named ******* Donuts, so what the heck.
JJM   Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:17 pm GMT
People who say "me and my brother went to the pub" don't say "me went to the pub."

So there is a very clear grammatical process going on here which allows the use of "me" in combination with another subject but not by itself.
JJM   Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:18 pm GMT
And without being too pedantic, the term "silly" has no objective validity as a linguistic judgment
Damian fae Scotland   Wed Jul 20, 2005 4:55 pm GMT
Och!...silly me!
Great Scott   Thu Jul 21, 2005 12:45 pm GMT
>The misuse of the objective "me" as a subjective as described by GREAT SCOTT (k handle btw) is quite common.>

What's k? :)

>Me thinks I like donuts* too".>

Methinks is a word! According to my dictionary, the definition reads: "it seems to me".