Critique my accent

Chicken Tonight   Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:08 pm GMT
Here's the text:
Copyright 2000 Douglas N. Honorof, Jill McCullough & Barbara Somerville. All rights reserved.

Well, here's a story for you: Sarah Perry was a veterinary nurse who had been working daily at an old zoo in a deserted district of the territory, so she was very happy to start a new job at a superb private practice in North Square near the Duke Street Tower. That area was much nearer for her and more to her liking. Even so, on her first morning, she felt stressed. She ate a bowl of porridge, checked herself in the mirror and washed her face in a hurry. Then she put on a plain yellow dress and a fleece jacket, picked up her kit and headed for work.

When she got there, there was a woman with a goose waiting for her. The woman gave Sarah an official letter from the vet. The letter implied that the animal could be suffering from a rare form of foot and mouth disease, which was surprising, because normally you would only expect to see it in a dog or a goat. Sarah was sentimental, so this made her feel sorry for the beautiful bird.

Before long, that itchy goose began to strut around the office like a lunatic, which made an unsanitary mess. The goose's owner, Mary Harrison, kept calling, "Comma, Comma," which Sarah thought was an odd choice for a name. Comma was strong and huge, so it would take some force to trap her, but Sarah had a different idea. First she tried gently stroking the goose's lower back with her palm, then singing a tune to her. Finally, she administered ether. Her efforts were not futile. In no time, the goose began to tire, so Sarah was able to hold onto Comma and give her a relaxing bath.

http://www.yourfilelink.com/get.php?fid=541677

Thanks in advance.
Chicken Tonight   Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:55 pm GMT
Anyone? What does my accent sound like to you? Does it give away where I'm from? If so, how?
j   Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:00 pm GMT
If you're going to upload a file at least make sure people can download it. There's no d/l link on that site. People aren't going to waste their time trying to find it.
schlechtes vorbild   Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:22 pm GMT
i was able to download it, but i just have no comment really. you sound like a native speaker.
Yeah   Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:55 pm GMT
...like a british one, unfortunately. *Cringes at the memory of his voice*
Irony   Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:37 pm GMT
You sound like schlechtes vorbild with Yeah's cock in his mouth..!! And j cracking one off in the corner.
Matematik   Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:03 pm GMT
You sound like a fucking pussy.
Irony   Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:09 pm GMT
With fish breath as well...
Clari   Sat Apr 24, 2010 6:16 am GMT
<<schlechtes vorbild
I was able to download it, but i just have no comment really. you sound like a native speaker. >>
I don't think he is a native speaker since he doesn't speak certain words clearly, like start, beautiful, etc. He speaks more like American than British. But he is apparently not an Asian.

<<j
If you're going to upload a file at least make sure people can download it. There's no d/l link on that site. People aren't going to waste their time trying to find it. >>
I can download the file. Nowadays those file sharing websites are full of advertisement, you need to find the links (normally in very small font) by scanning the whole web page. I waited for 5 seconds before being the download started. Last time I was kept waiting for 300 seconds in another website. Such inconvenience seems quite normal in today's business world.
Chicken Tonight   Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:46 pm GMT
Apologies for the awkward download link.

Here's a direct download link.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2010/4/24/2838202/Comma1.mp3
hyu   Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:02 pm GMT
You sound totally British, except that you pronounced "bath" as /bæ:θ/ instead of /bɑ:θ/ - so I really have no idea where you're from.
speaker from canada   Wed May 05, 2010 2:25 am GMT
Chicken Tonight,

Shame so many of the responses are unhelpful. Is this what the forums are like here?

I'm a native speaker of English, from Canada (not the UK). Here's my honest criticism. You speak well, more than well enough to function comfortably in an English-speaking country (that is, if your extemporaneous speaking ability matches your reading ability). And no, I can't guess where you're from.

There are a few things that give you away, though. Your pauses in speech--they aren't bad, because they don't hurt comprehension, but a native speaker of English wouldn't pause in those places. The flat, monotone of your speech--this too isn't bad (many native speakers of English speak in monotone) but it is boring to listen to. The pacing of the sentence "Sarah was sentimental..." is off. You seem to lose some of these words; take another look at it. Third paragraph, you say "goose owner, Mary" instead of "goose's owner, Mary". That you have a problem with this is confirmed when you say "goose's lower back with her palm" in the next sentence. Your pronunciation of "ether" is wrong; take a look at that too.

I'm being picky. But that's ok. You wouldn't have gotten as far as you have without being picky yourself. If I were to take you, right now, not knowing anything else about you, as an English speaker, I would say you're a native English speaker, but a semi-literate or slightly dumb one. I don't say this to insult you! That I might confuse you for native is an accomplishment in itself. I assume you want to sound intelligent when you speak. So from here, listen to some dynamic English speakers. Get a sense for English cadence and flourish. You have a wonderful control of the basics. Now be *interesting* to listen to.

Hope this is helpful. If anyone from the UK is here, perhaps they can amplify my comments. Where are you from, by the way?
ma:ti   Wed May 05, 2010 2:49 am GMT
>>You sound totally British, except that you pronounced "bath" as /bæ:θ/ instead of /bɑ:θ/ - so I really have no idea where you're from. <<

im hearing an /a/ not /æ/... maybe its just me...
but overall he does sound british
perhapslove   Thu May 06, 2010 3:23 pm GMT
I'm guess he's french?
Perhapslove   Thu May 06, 2010 3:26 pm GMT
I'm guessing*