The state of British English

Adam   Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:10 pm GMT
What's the weather like?

We have now all been thoroughly brainwashed into accepting the weatherman on TV and radio telling us the temperatures in Centigrade (or Celsius or whatever it's called this week). But there is a curious thing happens during the summer months. When it gets hot outside, the newspapers and radio and TV start telling us the temperatures in Fahrenheit with phrases such as "..in the nineties". This is understandable because talking about temperatures "..in the high thirties" doesn't quite have the same impact. Nor does talking in Centigrade give any indication of the relative temperature, i.e. how it feels to us. Is it hot or cold today? Will I need a coat if I go out?

The metric method of measuring temperature uses a scale of 0 to 100 based on the freezing point and boiling point of water. Now this is all very well in the scientific laboratory but why is it considered to be a sensible method of measuring the ambient air temperature? When was the last time you saw boiling hot rain?

If it is necessary to use a scale of 0 to 100 to indicate what sort of weather we are having, then it would be a good idea to use one which relates to how we feel when we are out of doors. Surprise, surprise! The Fahrenheit scale of temperatures does exactly that! When it is 100 degrees, we feel like sitting in the shade and relaxing with a long cool drink and when it is 0 degrees, we stay in the house and pray for Spring. And when we are given any number in between those two extremes, we know exactly how hot or cold it is outside. It works! Why mess about changing to an abstract concept for the sake of tidy-minded bureaucrats and unworldly scientists?

zetnet.co.uk

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French wines

It was the French who invented this decimal system of measurement and the French nation is proud of this 'great' achievement. The French are also proud of their native wines and rightly so. You would expect, therefore, the French wine industry to have embraced wholeheartedly this symbol of French intellectual supremacy. So when you order a case of French wine you get 10 litres of wine in 10 bottles, right? Wrong! You get 9 litres in 12 bottles! "Zut alors, Pierre. How did that renegade twelve get in there?" Back to le drawing board mes amis!


zetnet.co.uk

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Sander   Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:23 pm GMT
To measure the above mentioned quantities in the English Imperial system, all the following units can occur:

1Length: inch, foot, yard, mile, fathom, rod, furlong, league, mil, pole, perch, hand, link, chain
2Area: square inch, square foot, square yard, acre, square mile, township, square fathom, square rod, square furlong, square league, square mil, square pole, square perch, square hand, square link, square chain
3Volume: gallon, liquid quart, dry quart, liquid pint, dry pint, fluid ounce, teaspoon, tablespoon, minim, fluid dram, gill, peck, bushel, cubic inch, cubic foot, cubic yard, cubic fathom, cubic rod, cubic furlong, cubic mile, cubic league, cubic mil, cubic pole, cubic perch, cubic hand, cubic link, cubic chain
4Mass: pound, apoth. pound, ounce, apoth. ounce, dram, apoth. dram, grain, spoth. scruple, pennyweight, short hundredweight, long hundredweight, short ton, long ton
5Force: pound, ton
6Pressure: pounds per square inch, pounds per square foot, pounds per square yard, pounds per acre, pounds per square mile, pounds per township, pounds per square fathom, pounds per square rod, pounds per square furlong, pounds per square league, pounds per square mil, pounds per square pole, pounds per square perch, pounds per square hand, pounds per square link, pounds per square chain, tons per square inch, tons per square foot, tons per square yard, tons per acre, tons per square mile, tons per township, tons per square fathom, tons per square rod, tons per square furlong, tons per square league, tons per square mil, tons per square pole, tons per square perch, tons per square hand, tons per square link, tons per square chain
7Energy: calorie, inch-pound, foot-pound, yard-pound, mile-pound, fathom-pound, rod-pound, furlong-pound, league-pound, mil-pound, pole-pound, perch-pound, hand-pound, link-pound, chain-pound, inch-ton, foot-ton, yard-ton, mile-ton, fathom-ton, rod-ton, furlong-ton, league-ton, mil-ton, pole-ton, perch-ton, hand-ton, link-ton, chain-ton
8Power: horsepower, inch-pound per second, foot-pound per second, yard-pound per second, mile-pound per second, fathom-pound per second, rod-pound per second, furlong-pound per second, league-pound per second, mil-pound per second, pole-pound per second, perch-pound per second, hand-pound per second, link-pound per second, chain-pound per second, inch-ton per second, foot-ton per second, yard-ton per second, mile-ton per second, fathom-ton per second, rod-ton per second, furlong-ton per second, league-ton per second, mil-ton per second, pole-ton per second, perch-ton per second, hand-ton per second, link-ton per second, chain-ton per second
9Temperature: degrees Fahrenheit

To measure the same range of the same quantities in the metric system, only the following units can occur:

1Length: meter
2Area: square meter (are)
3Volume: cubic meter (liter)
4Mass: gram (metric ton)
5Force: newton
6Pressure: pascal
7Energy: joule
8Power: watt
9Temperature: kelvin (degrees Celsius)

"The metric system is simply a better system of units than imperial"

Is consistently based on decimal numbers. (metric)

It uses different number systems (base 3, 8, 12, 14 & 16). (imperial)


Works well with percentages Percentages difficult to work out
Able to deal with very large and very small quantities (using prefixes) (metric)

Small quantities handled with awkward fractions (imperial)

One sort of unit for weight :gram, kilogram, etc (metric)

Two systems of weight:avoirdupois pounds, ounces, etc
troy pounds, ounces, etc (imperial)

One system of volume:millilitre, litre, cubic metre (metric)


Two systems of volume: pints, quarts, gallons cubic inches, feet and yards (imperial)

Handles mechanical and electrical quantities (metric)

No electrical units. Mixing imperial mechanical units and metric electrical ones is messy (imperial)


Units are the same internationally (metric)

Some units differ between UK and US (imperial)

-different pints and gallons
-different tons
-different fluid and dry ounces

Simple calculations such as floor area, energy consumption and volumes are easy (metric)

Simple calculations such as floor area, energy consumption and volumes are needlessly complicated (imperial)

http://www.metric4us.com/whynot.html

http://www.metric4us.com/why.html
Rick Johnson   Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:29 pm GMT
My advice is don't buy French wine- buy a box of Australian wine instead. It tastes better, it gets you more drunk, it's made by an English speaking nation, it's better for you* and most importantly it's not French!!!



*please note there is no scientific proof to back up this spurious claim
Hella   Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:05 pm GMT
My advice is don't eat French fries- buy a box of Welsh chips instead. It tastes better, it gets you more fat, it's made by an English speaking nation, it's better for you* and most importantly it's not French!!!
Sander   Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:07 pm GMT
=>My advice is don't eat French fries- buy a box of Welsh chips instead. It tastes better, it gets you more fat, it's made by an English speaking nation, it's better for you* and most importantly it's not French!!!<=

LOL 'French fries' aren't even French ...English is the only language that calls them 'French fries' LOL
Scottish Damian   Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:38 pm GMT
Eat Scotch* eggs and Scotch*broth followed by Scotch* pancakes while drinking Scotch* whisky as you listen to a Scotch* snap on your mp3 and your Scotch* terrier runs wild as a Scotch* mist swirls round you.

*Scotch is permissable only in this way. Call me or any of my countrymen a Scotchman and we will not be responsible for our actions! :-( Refrain from this usage and we will let you off Scot free.
Damian   Thu Sep 01, 2005 9:12 pm GMT
OK OK there are anomalies.......12 months in the year, 24 hours to the day....it's not possible to decimalise time I don't suppose. 365/6 days pa all worked out on the movements of the solar system. I'm not too sure about this, but didn't the Romans work on the principle of ten in their calendar? I mean, this month..September....septem...seven .....although to us it is now the ninth month. Oct/Nov/Dec - 8, 9 and 10.

ADAM.....the UK once had a very awkward monetary system....LSD...(nothing hallucinatory!) ...librae, solidii, denarii...pounds, shillings and pence....a THREE tier system - £.s.d. How the hell would we cope with something like that now in this country?

The pound was divided into 20 shillings and each shilling had 12 pence which meant that the pound contained 240 pence and each penny (singular of pence) was split into two halfpennies and each halfpenny was divided into two farthings which meant that each penny contained four farthings and each pound contained 480 halfpennies and 960 farthings.

They also had something called a guinea which was one pound plus one shilling and as many expensive items were priced in guineas apparently the people then had to work out how much that was in full pounds so that they could write out their cheques in the correct form because something marked up in the store as costing 550 Guineas actually cost £577 and 10 shillings but they had to write their cheque down as £577.10s.0d.

It must have been a (BLEEPING) nightmare!

How could you possibly work out in your head the cost of something like 18 items at £3.17s.11d each? Check out the weird web site on Britain's money before 1971. They must have managed ok in those days but today it would be purgatory and what calculator or electronic equipment could adapt to such a crazy three tier system?

No doubt you'll say you could quite easily and that the majority of British people would prefer a loopy crap system like that.
Uriel   Fri Sep 02, 2005 3:36 am GMT
Damian, I promise not to ever call you Scotch* ... I have written myself a stern note and Scotch-taped* it to the monitor...

What on earth is a Scotch pancake?
Hellas   Fri Sep 02, 2005 4:51 am GMT
* LOL 'French fries' aren't even French ...English is the only language that calls them 'French fries' LOL

But my potatoes say "produce of France" and my fryer says its made in France!

Soon I'll be told off for eating Turkish Delight because many don't find it a delight
... and ridiculed for eating French croissant that symbolized the attack of Vienna under the Turkish crescent!
Sander   Fri Sep 02, 2005 11:34 am GMT
=>But my potatoes say "produce of France" and my fryer says its made in France!<=

So?!
Hellas   Fri Sep 02, 2005 11:50 am GMT
So why can't I call my fries French Fries?!
Damian   Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:15 pm GMT
URIEL:

**What on earth is a Scotch pancake?**

On earth this is a SP - sample one and you're in heaven*:

http://www.parsleysoup.co.uk/BreadSnacks/scotch_pancakes.htm

*Not literally of course - just taste-bud wise. I like them at breakfast with a wee bit of marmite. Now what's marmite I hear her ask.......let's keep Uriel guessing....hee hee.......
Candy   Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:17 pm GMT
<<So why can't I call my fries French Fries?! >>
You can call then anything you like! Doesn't make them French, though..;)
Sander   Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:17 pm GMT
=>So why can't I call my fries French Fries?! <=

How old are you 14?!
Damian   Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:19 pm GMT