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Best way to Learn British English?
Adam,
I have to agree with Damian, I don't think the Scots are offended by the St George flag. If anything it's a multicultural flag since it originated in Western France (spits in disgust). In fact there are very few "English" things that are really English!
<<Ireland is divided into about 6 or 7 provinces, and each province is divided into counties.>>
Psst...there are only four provinces: Leicester, Ulster, Connaght, and Munster.
"Leicester" should be "Leinster" above.
"I have to agree with Damian, I don't think the Scots are offended by the St George flag."
I never said they were.
"Psst...there are only four provinces: Leicester, Ulster, Connaght, and Munster. "
There were 5, but I think Meath merged with Leinster.
"In fact there are very few "English" things that are really English! "
The "Scottish" kilt was invented by an English, the Welsh national dress was invented by an Englishwoman, St Andrew was a fisherman from Galilee and St Patrick was an Englishman.
"It's a wee bit minging that you're not "allowed to wave your own St George's flag on your own property in your own country because of complaints and protests from alien immigrants to this country with a political agenda and dubious motives who most likely have no right to be in your country in the first place."
Not my words....that was BNP-speak. "
What do you mean "BNP speak?" An Englishman complains that two policemen came to his house and told him to take his English flag down in case it offends ethnic minorities, and he is a member of BNP?
Under the Tories, nothing like this happened. But ever since we've had a SCOTTISH PM, the Government has suddenly shown that it hates English people flying the English flag, and even has the audacity to try and break England up into 8 little pieces.
Veeeery suspicious.
Have you read this on that link you supplied? Two police officers arrived at a man's house in Leeds and told him to take the flag down in case it offends ethnic minorities (which obviously includes the Scots and Welsh.)
But when the man told the polcie officers that they never stop Asians or anyone else from flying their flags, the police them called him racist!!!
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I have recently arrived home, in Leeds, from work to be confronted by two Police Officers, who according to neighbours have been calling back and forth most of the day and at one point sat outside my door for over an hour during which time a number of neighbours were quizzed as to my whereabouts and "what sort of person I am".Many of whom thought that perhaps I had commited some heinous crime.
Had I killed a child, robbed the local bank at gun point or held Membership to an International Drug Cartel? The answer to that question is a resounding NO. My "crime"? I have flown the National flag of England on my property for the past two years since we bought this house, and Ihave been told, in no uncertain terms, that I risk arrest if I continue to do so.
It appears that someone who walked past my house over the weekend has reported that she finds seing the National Flag of this Country "uncomfortable" and has surmised that I am clearly a Racist and should be stopped from doing so.
The Police were quite candid in explaining that the complainant is Asian, probably Islamic, and lives in the area but not in my Street,(A cul-de-sac), but can see my Flag when he walks through the Park that is situated in close proximity to me. This person's discomfort was not reported to the local Police Station but to a "Community Constable" of whom there are many since the London Bombings.
I told the Police that the Pakistani Flag is often seen flying in this area of Beeston on both Cars and Buildings and that I sometimes found that uncomfortable but was warned that "those sort of comments were racist".
Perhaps someone can help me here? Someone complains about the Cross of St George and is instructed, on pain of arrest,to remove it from Private Property in England, yet to complain about the Pakistani Flag being flown in England is "Racist"?? Is it just me or there someone wrong with this picture?
I am former Soldier with 26 years service, (including boy Service)I'm in full-time Employment,am married to a School Teacher, have a young family pay my taxes and bills and own my own home and, with the exception of Driving Offences,(speeding, parking) have an unblemished Record. I do not belong to any Political Party and keep myself to myself, yet to be subjected to this is beyond belief and perhaps goes someway to explaining the the rise of Organisations like the BNP
"Damian waving Saltire "
that's racist.
"SASSENACH ADAM in SUNNY BOLTON: "
And so is that.
ADAM: Here in Scotland there is never, ever any trouble with displaying the Saltire (the Scottish national flag.''.the blue and white part of the Union flag). You can smother your house in them if you want and no coppers will come up and say that some non natives are "complaining".
Anyway, comedy. I've been doing some research today on a famous British comedian who died today.....(Ronnie Barker)....personally I don't remember him all that well but have seen sketches on TV (a lot this evening) and his really funny use of the English Language is a real hoot. A genius.
THE TWO RONNIES (Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett).
Of all the sketches performed by The Two Ronnies, my favourite sketch is 'The Hardware Shop', commonly called 'Four Candles'. Here are the words and actions for that sketch:
In a hardware shop. Ronnie Corbett is behind the counter, wearing a warehouse jacket. He has just finished serving a customer.
CORBETT (muttering): There you are. Mind how you go.
(Ronnie Barker enters the shop, wearing a scruffy tank-top and beanie)
BARKER: Four Candles!
CORBETT: Four Candles?
BARKER: Four Candles.
(Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out four candles. He places them on the counter)
BARKER: No, four candles!
CORBETT (confused): Well there you are, four candles!
BARKER: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!
(Ronnie Corbett puts the candles away, and goes to get a fork handle. He places it onto the counter)CORBETT (muttering): Fork handles. Thought you said 'four candles!' (more clearly) Next?
BARKER: Got any plugs?
CORBETT: Plugs. What kind of plugs?
BARKER: A rubber one, bathroom.
(Ronnie Corbett gets out a box of bath plugs, and places it on the counter)
CORBETT (pulling out two different sized plugs): What size?
BARKER: Thirteen amp!
CORBETT (muttering): It's electric bathroom plugs, we call them, in the trade. Electric bathroom plugs!
(He puts the box away, gets out another box, and places on the counter an electric plug, then puts the box away)
BARKER: Saw tips!
CORBETT: Saw tips? (he doesn't know what he means) What d'you want? Ointment, or something like that?
BARKER: No, saw tips for covering saws.
CORBETT: Oh, haven't got any, haven't got any. (he mutters) Comin' in, but we haven' got any. Next?
BARKER: 'O's!
CORBETT: 'O's?
BARKER: 'O's.
(He goes to get a hoe, and places it on the counter)
BARKER: No, 'O's!
CORBETT: 'O's! I thought you said 'O! (he takes the hose back, and gets a hose, whilst muttering) When you said 'O's, I thought you said 'O! 'O's!
(He places the hose onto the counter)
BARKER: No, 'O's!
CORBETT (confused for a moment): O's? Oh, you mean panty 'o's, panty 'o's! (he picks up a pair of tights from beside him)
BARKER: No, no, 'O's! 'O's for the gate. Mon repose! 'O's! Letter O's!
CORBETT (finally realising): Letter O's! (muttering) You had me going there!
(He climbs up a stepladder, gets a box down, puts the ladder away, and takes the box to the counter, and searches through it for letter O's)
CORBETT: How many d'you want?
BARKER: Two.
(Ronnie Corbett leaves two letter O's on the counter, then takes the box back, gets the ladder out again, puts the box away, climbs down the ladder, and puts the ladder away, then returns to the counter)
CORBETT: Yes, next?
BARKER: Got any P's?
CORBETT (fed up): For Gawd' sake, why didn' you bleedin' tell me that while I was up there then? I'm up and down the shop already, it's up and down the bleedin' shop all the time. (He gets the ladder out, climbs up and gets the box of letters down, then puts the ladder away) Honestly, I've got all this shop, I ain't got any help, it's worth it we plan things. (He puts the box on the counter, and gets out some letter P's) How many d'you want?
BARKER: No! Tins of peas. Three tins of peas!
CORBETT: You're 'avin' me on, ain't ya, yer 'avin' me on?
BARKER: I'm not!
(Ronnie Corbett dumps the box under the counter, and gets three tins of peas)
CORBETT (placing the tins on the counter): Next?
BARKER: Got any pumps?
CORBETT (getting really fed up): 'And pumps, foot pumps? Come on!
BARKER (surprised he has to ask): Foot pumps!
CORBETT (muttering, as he goes down the shop): Foot pumps. See a foot pump? (He sees one, and picks it up) Tidy up in 'ere.
(He puts the pump down on the counter)
BARKER: No, pumps fer ya feet! Brown pump, size nine!
CORBETT (almost at breaking point): You are 'avin' me on, you are definitely 'avin' me on!
BARKER (not taking much notice of Corbett's mood): I'm not!
CORBETT: You are 'avin' me on! (He takes back the pump, and gets a pair of brown foot pumps out of a drawer, and places them on the counter) Next?
BARKER: Washers!
CORBETT (really close to breaking point): What, dishwashers, floor washers, car washers, windscreen washers, back scrubbers, lavatory cleaners? Floor washers?
BARKER: 'Alf inch washers!
CORBETT: Oh, tap washers, tap washers? (He finally breaks, and makes to confiscate his list) Look, I've had just about enough of this, give us that list. (He mutters) I'll get it all myself! (Reading through the list) What's this? What's that? Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have just about had it! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of 'im. (Mr. Jones comes out, and Ronnie Corbett shows him the list) Look what 'e's got on there! Look what 'e's got on there!
JONES (who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it): Right! How many would ya like? One or two?
(He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer - 'Bill hooks'!)
Bill hooks? I don't get it.
"Here in Scotland there is never, ever any trouble with displaying the Saltire (the Scottish national flag.''.the blue and white part of the Union flag). You can smother your house in them if you want and no coppers will come up and say that some non natives are "complaining". "
That's because Scotland is ruled by Scots, you have a parliament full of Scots, whereas England either doesn't have its own Parliament OR there are Scots in the English Parliament, should as the Prime Minister and the Chancellor, who obviously shouldn't be there.
Should Scots rule England? I don't think they should do any longer.
Spectator, The, Jul 12, 2003
The interests of Englishmen are not threatened with impunity: and the danger of molesting them does not disclose itself till the threat has been uttered, and their enmity has been irrevocably incurred. They have a habit of sleeping up to the very moment of danger, which is equally embarrassing to their champions and their assailants.
So wrote Lord Salisbury in 1873. He was echoed a century later by Enoch Powell, who observed that one of the 'peculiar faults' of the English was their 'strange passivity in the face of danger or absurdity or provocation'. The question which ought now to be troubling Tony Blair, but almost certainly isn't, is whether the English will remain passive as they watch sweeping changes to the health service in England pushed through with the help of Scottish and Welsh MPs. On Tuesday night, the government would have lost the vote on the Bill to introduce foundation hospitals in England but for the support it received from Scotland and Wales, yet English MPs enjoy no reciprocal rights when it comes to arrangements north of the Tweed or west of Offa's Dyke.
This is plainly unjust. It is also quite plainly Tony Blair's fault. His irresponsibility is breathtaking. Like some cowboy builder, the Prime Minister rips down parts of the beautiful, functional and adaptable edifice which is our constitution, without any idea what structural function the bits he is demolishing might serve, and without any adequate conception of what he is to put in their place, except that it should be more 'modern' than the boring old timbers which he is hurling into his skip.
The hereditary peers? Chuck them out, without the faintest idea of a legitimate principle on which to elect their successors. The Lord Chancellor? Chuck him out, without even knowing what he does. The West Lothian question? Well, that is a conundrum to which no one has ever found a satisfactory answer, but luckily it interests only Tarn Dalyell, so we shall ignore it.
The consequence of ignoring the West Lothian question is that an explosive device is now buried in the heart of our system of representative government. By setting up assemblies in Scotland and Wales, while per-mitting MPs from those parts of the United Kingdom to go on voting and indeed deciding purely English business, Mr Blair has created a perilous lack of symmetry. It may have seemed unfair - indeed it was unfair - to the Scots when Margaret Thatcher imposed the poll tax on them a year early with the help of English votes, even if she imagined she was doing them a favour. But at least the Scots could look forward to the day when they could legislate for England. Since that time, which arrived with the Labour landslide of 1 May 1997, Scots have played a disproportionate role in the government of England, a fact which unionists ought in normal circumstances to welcome, for it exemplifies the astonishing capacity of our constitution to achieve fairness over time.
Except that Mr Blair has undermined any prospect of future fairness by excluding English MPs from any further say on a considerable number of matters in Scotland, including health. The fact that he does not see any problem with this is demonstrated by his recent choice of a Scotsman, John Reid, as Health Secretary.
Mr Blair presumably imagines the English will remain quiescent in the face of this provocation. Ferdinand Mount argued, in his hook on the British constitution, that 'asymmctricality in parliamentary representation doesn't really matter, so long as it is tolerated by public opinion'. This is plainly true: as Mount argues, 'untidiness' in constitutional arrangements may sometimes be 'a characteristic of justice and a symptom of attentiveness and goodwill'. Certainly the British constitution has long contained all kinds of untidy elements which were justified because they worked and because they had been found over time to suit us.
It is virtually unimaginable that the Blairite dispensation, which gives Scottish and Welsh MPs many more powers over England than English MPs have over Scotland or Wales, will be found over time to suit us. At some as yet unpredictable point, it is all too likely to lead to an explosion of popular anger. Already, in the kind of down-market English pub where Mr Blair and his friends arc not often seen, there are angry murmurings that England is being treated unfairly. But this is a difficult subject for Lord Salisbury's heirs in the Conservative party to gauge how to handle. No unionist wishes to foment the break-up of the United Kingdom by fanning the flames of resentment between England, Scotland and Wales, or by trying to split England into artificial regions, each of which is lumbered with its own assembly, and each of which deals directly with Brussels. Mr Blair, who has never loved the House of Commons and who perhaps yet hopes to reign over us from Brussels, might be delighted by that emasculation of our democracy; but we doubt very much whether the British people would be.
Copyright Spectator Jul 12, 2003
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